I Should've Stayed To Myself

Prologe pt.1

"I am being bonded to my enemy for a reason I do not know, I fear the creator of this decision, rather bask in his own thoughts, then deal with his offspring. Little does he know how bad this fuels his little girls mind with pain and confusion, making her yearn for a love, she questions was even there"

•Zamora

I hate walking through this house it reminds me of how unsuccessful I've become. All these trophy's from varies activities that I learned to love, but once I got "good enough" I had to move to the next. I always wonder who I would've been if I keep going at any of them...

Either way, I have no time to wonder only time to count the days until I'll be out of the camp. "Quiet Meadows, the camp where girl become women and flourish" I roll my eyes every time I think of when Ms. Ladamore said that at the orientation. Sadly she seems nice so I can't dread that. Father thinks this camp will be good for me, even though he's a man and knows nothing about being a woman. But it's always been that way. What ever her says goes, no matter what.

I stop at the door and take one more glance back at the house. I wish I could look and see memories of "the good ole days" but all I see is a house that was never a home.

"Ms. Carter, would you like Eric to get your bags?" Brenda; the only real parent I ever had asks.

"No I'm fine"

I walk up to the car and put my bags in the trunk, I'm only bringing a duffle bag with toiletries, pj and some relaxed clothes since we will get a uniform when we get there.

Before I get in, I stop to say my goodbyes,

"Ms. Brenda I- um here." I pull a letter from my pocket...

I feel like a fool. I was never good with word unless they are written down. My dad says I'm a coward and this camp will do me good.

Brenda smiles and takes the letter from my hand. It's filled with my graidute towards her, throughout the years I've learned to love and cherish her, as she came in to fill the void my mother left...

"Thank you dear, I'll miss you, but I hope you have a good time!" She says with a warm smile.

"I'll miss you too" I say returning with a light smile that's holding back a frown.

She has to look of wanting to say something more but holds back.

It's probably a message from my father, just another reason way he can't be present in my life at the moment.

I get in the car and prepare my arrival to hell.

-

It's been three hours and we haven't stopped yet. I want to stretch my legs but rather not. The faster I get there the faster I can leave... I think. I haven't done much during this ride, I've been looking out the window at the grass lands and the trees. I wonder how they feel so I don't get clouded with my own thoughts.

This isn't new to me though, being sent away in all, I've been to dozens of camps that focused on many things. Some would say I'm multi talented but I only like one thing, writing. Since I never had anyone to talk to my paper held any conversation I ever wanted to have. My pen helped guide me all my life, but now that it's something I enjoy I have to stop. Like my dad says, "Writing is for people in jail" which is where I rather be than in "his care."

Two more hours until I'm left with preppy girls for three mouths. I'm trying to stay calm but I don't know how I'll act. Will I stay true to myself? The gay black angry quiet girl. Or pretend like I always do.

A lil sum from the drafts that I actually want to work on :)

Prologue pt.1 | I Should've Stayed To Myself