Project Smile

Two

All throughout second and third period, I can't stop myself from thinking about Gabriel's reaction to me trying to help him. All of this time, ever since kindergarten, I've never stopped wondering why he does the things he does. Or how he can help people when he's unable to help himself. He seems so strong, but there's a part of him that seems to scream that he's not.

   "Miss Evans?" calls out Ms. Ford, snapping me out of my thoughts. I shake my head slightly and look at her. "Are you alright?"

   "Yes ma'am. Just trying to think more in-depth about this play." I smile at her, trying to look convincing before turning back to Hamlet. She nods and walks back to her desk.

   I kind of understand where Erin and Audrey are getting the idea of me being in love with Gabriel. I have been thinking about him a lot lately. But it isn't like that. I just want to help him, that's all.

   I can't wait for class to end so I can go find him.

   The bell finally rings after what feels like forever, and I jump out of my seat, grabbing my papers and knocking over Hamlet. I don't really care, though. I've already read it several times, enough to pass the quiz we're having on Friday. Right now, he's more important.

   I run to my next class as fast as I can, accidentally bumping shoulders with a few people and getting strange looks.

   I make it down the hall and into my Chemistry class with about four minutes to spare. The only other person in the classroom is a girl dressed in all black and wearing a lot of eyeliner, currently writing on her arms. I think her name is Bree. I sit down at the desk behind her and wait for Gabriel to show up. He's usually pretty early to all of his classes.

   Students begin filling the room, looking bored as they go to their seats. I keep an eye out for him, but he never shows.

   I hope he's okay.

                              ~ ~ ~

He looks at the road in front of him, trying to get everything out of his head. It would be so easy for him to just step on the gas and hit a tree at a hundred miles an hour head-on. It could look like an accident, like he lost control.

   It could be that easy for him to be gone.

   The dark part of his brain smiles at the thought, and he looks at the floor. So easy. So freaking easy.

   The car accelerates.

   Fifty miles an hour.

   Sixty.

   Seventy-five.

   Ninety.

   But then he stops and slowly puts his foot on the brake. Why did she pop into his head again? Especially since he didn't want to think about it right now.

   Light brown hair and hazel eyes. A kind smile.

   Cassidy.

   He feels like he still owes her for what she did all those years ago for him, but he doesn't know how he could repay her. And he's pretty sure she fakes caring for him, anyway. Because who could?

   Another part of him feels guilty. He shouldn't have just left her like that. She looked genuinely sad.

   He always screws up, makes people sad and feels guilty about it. He knows how much he hurts them inside. It's the same deal with his parents, his sister. He doesn't deserve anything they do for him, and they sure don't deserve what he does to them.