gasoline | y.min

wake up

;so listen to my heartbeat, if it's beat the same as yours then you're mine;

- yoongi

Night

It was something really odd. I want to be able to make things up to normal. To be able to face a smiling Jimin every morning. Like our usual day, I sent him to his tutor and I went to the studio for a new single. But, everything fucking change and I'm sick of this. I get inside the humid ward and look at the lifeless boy on the hospital's bed. A short brim of tears cascaded down my cheeks, shit. Its too early for tears Yoongi. It is still morning. I wipe it harshly with the back of my hand and forced myself to sit on the chair next to the bed.

Looking through his face like this, it make me really broken. Wake up you little shit, don't make me worried over yourself.

A sudden knock on the door make me flinched. No one ever come to visit Jimin other than myself. The door open revealing a woman passed her 30, and her face looks like someone so closed to Jimin, she ....

She looks like Jungkook.

"You must probably be Min Yoongi, right ?"

Who is she? What does she want?

"Y-yes, can I know why are you here and who are you? Are you related to jimin in any ways?"

"I'm Jungkook's mother."

She smile sadly with the mention of Jungkook's name and her tears spilled out like rain. She fumble with her handbag and handed me a letter, the look on her face tell me that she was really sad and she look really tired. The black circled formed around her eyes make she look more older than her original age. Her head dropped down, her words come out like wind, so audible.

"He was a really good boy back then, I hope you can be strong like us for his loss."

And my eyes wandered to Jimin who eyes still closed tight but there is tears flowing down the side of his face.

Jungkook is gone.

-

Jimin had been in his worst state after Mrs. Jeon came over. His breathing haggard and his heartbeat tump so loud but the second after his heartbeat tump really slow. I hold his hand. Closing my eyes, I pray.

"Be strong baby, you can do it."

-

A month later

"Yoongi, you don't have much time. There is 1 month to go and you will get in the army no matter what happen."

I look over at Jimin who is surrounded with those wires. For 30 days he is still trapped in his own world. Never once he wake up and for that 30 days I was feeling so lost. I didn't even prepared for the Army thing and Jimin hasn't woke up yet. And he doesn't have any guardian other than myself and what will he do if I left him here, alone?

Nothing.

-

Drunk.

That's it. Drunk. My answer for everything.

The neon lights bring my head to a spinning vision. Those music blaring make me want to throw up and the heat surrounded in this club make me lost and wander alone inside of this noisy place. I walk towars the front door, kicking the door open with my foot, my eyes wanderes up staring at the double vision of the night sky. Tears came in too quickly, bringing me to the edge, making me weak. A bottle of wine is still in my hand. Showering me off with sympathy if I feel to full to drink.

And out of nowhere, I was screaming his name with a crack voice.

"Fuck you Jimin! Fuck you Park Jimin! Why you did this? Why did this happened again? Why?!"

And I was caught up falling down the sidewalk with an empty bottle rolling down the drain. A few droplets of the sky wash away my bare face. And I closed my eyes. Too drunk to even recognize thing.

Too full of Jimin.

-

The next morning was a long day. Because I got to the hospital late and met with a clean mattress inside his ward. And when I meet with his doctor he just said that Jimin had been move to ICU ward once again. And I caught myself leaning against the wall. Crying my eyes out.

"Yoongi? "

I look up and immediately hug him. His good smell is still the same, the same like everyday. And his broad shoulder that always shield me from anykind of weak subject.

"Help me hyung."

And I bursted out crying on his shoulder while he whisper the mother-like word that he longs to have.

-

Seokjin

He walk in with his wife entering the waiting room and both of them walk towards me.

"Yoongi, this is my wife, Kim Aerin. Jagiya, this is my long lost brother, Min Yoongi."

We exchange stares and I give her a weak smile, too weak to even talk.

"Jagi, I have something to talk about with Yoongi so we meet in our kids ward? "

She nods and kiss him a goodbye. And there left me staring at Seokjin.

-

;don't complicated it.;

I can't help but stay silent. I don't have any energy to talk. Even walk in the ward to look at Jimin worst state. And Jin just encourage me the things that I had long forget.

"Hyung."

He stop talking and my eyes locked with him.

"What if I died? "

-

Author's POV

3 weeks later

Yoongi look at Jimin's face who is smiling. He looks so perfect with those smiled and Yoongi never want to let go of his body frame. He missed Jimin so much he couldn't take it that he will leave him in a week from now.

"Yoongi hyung? "

Yoongi let him nuzzled in his hug on the bed without any shirts. The tube connected around his head just make him look fine.

"H-have Jungkook come to see me when I was asleep? "

-

I want to cry because I missed bangtan so much, school is killing me T T And sorry for this really short update. I am having a writer block, again.