You Did Some Bad Things But I'm The Worst Of Them

One

Rage. Pure unadulterated rage was all that Addison felt. Yes she fucked up. It was a mistake to sleep with her husband's lifelong best friend, but that doesn't mean that it's okay for Derek to dedicate his life to humiliating her. She could excuse him having a relationship after leaving New York, he was hurt and people do stupid things while they're hurt. The redhead understood that better than anyone. Had she not been hurt by Derek's neglect and utter indifference throughout the last few years she never would have cheated on him. Yes, she made a mistake, but it wasn't out of nowhere.

The redhead often finds herself laying awake at night wondering if she would have ever tried to find Derek had Richard not called her. She missed him, but not enough to look for him. Maybe that should have been a sign, a sign that when she handed him the divorce papers she should have already signed them herself. She should have ended it right then and there instead of offering a chance for reconciliation. Addison could be free had she not let her stubborn pride get in the way. She couldn't give up without a fight, but what's the point when you're the only one that's fighting?

Derek may have chosen her, but he's not over Meredith. That much is clear. One would think that Addison would be sad at having to watch the man that she's been married to for eleven years pine after an intern, but all she feels is anger and disgust. She offered him an out, but he didn't take it. Was he just trying to punish her? To make her feel an inkling of what he felt when he pushed open their bedroom door to find the two people he thought he could trust most in this world naked together? Was choosing her despite not wanting her nothing more than an act of revenge?

She's angry, but oddly enough she's not angry at the intern who an outsider would assume stole Derek from Addison. She can't be angry because Meredith didn't know. That much was clear to her from the very moment she met the fresh eyed intern, she truthfully had no idea that she was seeing a married man. She may be naive, but she's not the dirty mistress that she's been painted as. The redhead cannot blame Meredith for falling for Derek's charm, she knows better than anyone how persistent the man is. The rumor mill has branded Meredith a husband stealer, but they don't know the ugly truth. Derek may be her husband legally, but his heart checked out years ago.

The only thing about the young intern that angers Addison is how alluring she finds her, but that's not Meredith's fault. After all, she and Derek always did have remarkably similar taste. Meredith may not have stolen Derek from her, but the devil on the redhead's shoulder is screaming at her to steal the intern from her husband. If he wants to humiliate her, she'll humiliate him right back.

It was a Tuesday afternoon, the hospital was surprisingly quiet, not that she would ever dare speak those words out loud, and Addison found herself standing by the nurse's station while Bailey ranted about what idiots her interns were. The redhead hummed and nodded along, but her mind was elsewhere, her eyes glued to the sight of Derek trying to talk to Meredith only for the intern to shrug him off and walk away. Addison smirked as a plan festered in her mind. Derek may be dreamy and charming, but he's not what Meredith needed. The way the intern talked back to him and shrugged him off filled the redhead with a twisted sense of satisfaction. The egotistical neurosurgeon deserved any push back Meredith gave him, he had every chance to end his marriage and live happily ever after with the doe eyed blonde, but he chose not to take it. That was his mistake. Meredith wasn't his anymore and it was clear that despite still being married, he didn't want Addison anymore. What better way to make Derek understand the humiliation and rage she felt every time he followed Meredith around like a puppy dog than to just take the blonde for herself? The devil on her shoulder was winning out, not caring who got hurt in the process.

Sure, she didn't want to hurt Meredith because she's certainly had enough hurt for a lifetime, but her need to make Derek feel an ounce of what she felt trumped the small piece of her that wanted to spare the blonde any more pain. Excusing herself from her conversation with Bailey, Addison put her plan into action. Disappearing in the direction the intern stormed off in, she kept her distance, instead watching from afar. Truthfully, she had been watching Meredith since the moment she arrived at the hospital and she quickly realized why Derek was completely wrong for the younger woman: Meredith was stubborn and headstrong, she fought against authority and followed her impulses. Despite that, there was this glint in her eye that gave her away. As much as the blonde liked to push and test limits, what she truly wanted was someone to put her in her place, to make her submit. Derek was a lot of things, but dominant and patient enough to deal with a brat like Meredith Grey was not one of them. Addison on the other hand knew that once her plan was in action it would only be a matter of minutes before the blonde was putty in her hands. The blush that rose on the girl's cheeks when she called her a 'good girl' told her that much. That's the thing about information, you never know when it'll come in handy.