Delirium

One~Shades of black and grey

^^^ pic of Ella up top
Enjoy the chapter!

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"Nicola and Cassandra were good friends, good daughters and good people. they will forever be missed but never forgotten"

The rain was pouring down on all of our clear umbrellas. My black shoes becoming wet and soggy but I didn't really mind. Everyone's faces were either a ghostly pale or red and blotchy from crying, there was a sad and doleful silence but that's what you'd expect from a funeral right?

I watched Nikki's brother Elliot wipe his nose, wipe his eyes and sniff. For a thirteen year old he is taking this very well though I know it was just a mask, Cassie was an only child so her parents were in tears that their little girl was gone, ripped from them in seconds. I didn't blame them, they were taken from me too.

"Lara and Ella? Would you like to say a few words?"

I looked wearily up from my seat at the Mr Hasher, the school coach. Both Nikki and Cassie's families opted for her to give a speech because we were closer to her than anyone in the school. She was our volleyball coach and she was family too. Ella also glanced at me as if waiting for my reply, her face was red and her eyes sore and puffy. When I nodded she stood up.

"It's alright to cry" my mother whispered into my ear before I stood up. Funny, I don't remember my feet moving. I can't cry, the crash and death of my two best friends was almost a week ago yet I still haven't shed a tear, this is what i do when I'm sad; I shut down, I switch off. I don't pay attention and I merely just sit and do nothing.

Ella on the other hand has shed enough tears to fill the river Nile and I didn't blame her, it was always the four of us; Nikki, Cassie, Ella and I. Ella was in England when the crash happened, When she got a call telling her that three of her best friends were involved in a brutal accident and only one survived she came home in a heart beat.

My mouth reached the Mike stand and I thought of what to say about Nikki and Cassie, Ella said she'll go after me because she could feel the tears begin to swell at the back of her throat. "I met Cassie when I was five. In Grade one, she was the girl who was always shy and I was the girl who no one really wanted to talk to but she talked to me and we ended up clicking. I met Nikki in Grade seven when she defended me because I was getting bullied, she stayed with me until I was fine and that's how we clicked. That's how all four of us clicked and now their gone I know that, that click won't separate" I drew in a breath and released it slowly, handing the mic over to Ella.

"I had a whole speech planned out but I'm just going to scrap it" she sighed a laugh "Nikki and Cassie were good people and good friends, I could always count on them no matter what. They impacted people's lives without really realising and I think I'll miss that the most, the little things that they do, their smiles, their laughs. Cassie's silly jokes-" her lip began trembling and she looked down at her feet for a mere second before glancing at the two coffins beside her "I'm going to miss you guys a lot"

"Thank you girls" Miss Hasher said "Please bow your heads so we can end in a prayer"

I sat back down beside my mother who brushed brown hair from her face and smiled. I smiled weakly and closed my eyes and bowed my head, I tried to focus on the preach; on the sincere words but all I kept seeing behind closed eye lids were brown dead eyes and dark hair, the same things I saw the night we played that stupid dare.

When I opened my eyes again I saw something move from behind a tree but the thought quickly desolated when people rose from their seats. I stood up too and dusted off water droplets which settled on my play suit.

"You haven't cried yet Lara" my mother said.

"I don't cry" I said dryly and began walking towards the car park.

She stumbled along and caught up with me "Its good to cry, it's good to mourn not to pretend nothing ever happened"

"This is my mourning" Shutting down is my mourning, being silent is my way of coping and acting like nothing ever happened is how I keep myself mentally stable. The last time I became dangerously unstable was when my father left us and I wanted to follow him, I would hallucinate him coming into my room and we have a convocation but the hallucinations will always end with him whispering "I'll meet you at the bridge and I promise, I will catch you"

I found myself having this crazed idea that my father was at the bottom of Greywater bridge and if I jumped he would catch me and we would be together forever.

So, I jumped.

"This mourning is worrying" she told me. I know why she said that, I was a ticking time bomb. No one knows what's going on in my head when i'm mourning like this, sometimes my thoughts scare me.

"I'm fine" I said.

While we were walking I heard laughter. It was faint but I could hear it, it was deep and husky yet smooth and alluring. It chilled my soul to re core "Lara" said a voice, it stretched my name and slurred all four letters in its mouth. Before I could react my arm was squeezed, a painful sting jolted up my body and I quickly pulled away but there was no one behind me. Rubbing my arm, three faint scratch marks were visible on my pale skin, any deeper and the cuts would have drawn blood.

"Are you alright?" Mom asked.

"I'm fine" I said hesitantly.

But did i believe myself? No.

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Heyyyyyu guissseeeee hope you enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to the rest of the book! Hehe have a great day xxxxxx