What Happened to Goodbye?

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Alannah's head dipped downward slightly when Dean said her name. Even the vibrations of his voice pronouncing the simple syllables inflicted a sharper and more potent sting. A cloud of tension engulfed the small space as Sam acknowledged his brother. Then Dean spoke with sarcasm seeping from his tone as he beckoned to the two.

"Oh don't mind me, keep trying to seduce my brother like always," He stopped for emphasis, "Or better yet do it right in front of my face this time just for an extra punch."

Alannah inhaled sharply, "Dean you know that wasn't me."

Before countering her comment, Dean realized how weak she sounded. A few months earlier her words had been strong and infused with emotion, but now an emptiness swallowed them.

He scornfully chuckled, "It might not have been you in the head, but it doesn't make any of what happened right."

She sighed, "I know that, you won't let me forget. I'm so tired of this bickering Dean, I already acknowledged that nothing between us will be the same again," she paused sensing that overly repetitive slice of anguish, "I've been trying to move on from this, can you?"

This must have sent Dean into some sort of rage because his eyes turned dark, "Move on from this?! Is that what bullshit you're trying to sell everybody? Sure, letting a demon posses you two WEEKS before your wedding and letting your fiancé find you sucking on his brother's face is so forgivable."

"I wasn't asking you to forgive me, I was just-"

"Oh there's not a snowball's chance in hell that I'll ever accept an apology from you."

Alannah began to tear up and Sam abruptly stood up and defended her.

"Hey," he brought his brother off to the side and spoke in a stern whisper, "This has gone way too far, Dean. She has relentlessly begged for you to understand and mourned over this unbearable incident thousands of times. Why can't you take what she's saying and go on with your life? What she did is nothing compared to the crap Dad piled on us," Sam swallowed thickly, "You're heartlessness towards her has its margins, but you've crossed them miles ago."

The censorship of communication made itself evident in the motel room and Dean ran a hand through his hair. Guilt dripped into his heart like running bath water as he realized his harshness.

"I don't think you should come on the hunt, she can't handle you being there," Sam suggested, "I'll call you once we are done and text you if anything goes wrong."

With a swift nod, Dean recognized his brother's words.

Alannah had already left for the restroom to ready herself for the hunt, and when she walked out Dean had roared off in the Impala.

He put the jingling keys into the ignition as the purr of his beloved car reverberated. Usually this would make him flash a smile, and look to his right at his passenger. Although, there had not been anyone accompanying him for a long time. Endless hours of hearing Baby's droning sound with nobody to make fun of him was only one of the multitude of occurrences he missed.

He missed Sam. He missed the humorous car rides. He missed the feeling of having someone who loved him right by his side.

He missed her.

Out of all the moments and people ripped from him by his own will he desired to be with Alannah the most. Even if thousands of agonizing flashes swarmed in his head when he thought of her, he didn't care sometimes. Just hearing her voice tonight brought back a piece of his shattered soul. But it wasn't really a voice anymore, more of a hollowed whisperer eroded by a mistake and his adverse words. Cringing at the river of remorse overflowing within him, he absentmindedly swerved into the parking lot of a run down bar.