The Publicist

Alternative Ending - In Vain Part 1

Man has a baby on you, then you whined up pregnant too? A love and hip hop episode with young joc ass waiting to happen. This definitely seemed like bird behavior.

I'm just thinking about the wrath of DJ when he finds out he's going to have a godson or daughter. He already is not a fan of this relationship, but he's letting me live with my own choice.

And he's always there to throw major shade at the commenters who constantly attack me on social media as some mindless bird with no backbone.

The only words that have gotten me through were Trey's.

Aug knows nothing about this, but It was after a show I did and I had an interview. Trey was in the room and the reporter asked me, "how does it feel to be a step-mom?"

Trey must've saw the tears welding in my eyes because he ended it and kicked the man out.

I had convinced myself I was leaving Aug that night. I ranted and raved about my hurt and when I was done, when I laid my head on my dressing room vanity mirror and sobbed, Trey calmed me down and spoke some words that stuck with me.

Trey said that regardless of what people said about our relationship from
The outside looking in, I knew what I felt on the inside and that's all that mattered.

He said I couldn't let people who had no clue about our love try to define it.

He reminded I knew what I felt for aug. I knew whether or not, I felt Aug was sincere in trying to restore our relationship or simply play patch up until I fell for him again. And that it was my choice to give him another chance and I shouldn't let people make me feel bad about my choice to work on my relationship.

"Jazzy me full." chi patted my leg.

"Okay Chi. We should wrap up anyway. daddy's getting out of class soon. Put your garbage in here."

He put all his food in the bad I designated for garbage. I did the same. Then I cleared the blanket of our things and put it into the duffle bag I brought.

Chi chased after a butterfly.

"Chi come back over here."

He came back.

I took his hand and we walked to the car. I threw the garbage bag in the trash and put the duffle bag on the back seat.

I then put Chime in his car seat and we were off to pick up Aug.

August POV-

"I put Chi to sleep in his room baby. So you got my full attention." I got on the bed and started to suck on her neck.

"I'm not in the mood." She turned away from me as though was a pest she wanted to get rid of and started texting somebody.

More than likely it was Trey's billy goat sounding ass. 😒

He had just as much pull on her as DJ and honestly, I didn't trust the nigga.

I sighed and got off of her.

"Why you texting Trey when you here with me?"

"Trey's my manager and He just told me I got a show to do this weekend."

"This weekend is my birthday."

"Your birthday is next week. The 10th right?"

I eyed her. I was that insignificant to her, she forgot my birthday.

I couldn't hold back my anger any longer. I had been walking on egg shells for the past year and a half trying to do everything right.

Every weekend I don't have a class I try to support her if she has a show. And if I can't make it, I always send some sort of gift in my absence. When she stays with me she doesn't have to lift a finger.

I consistently apologize. I consistently tell her how much I love her.

But I am always met with half-assed responses. Never a thank you for the flowers or gifts.

Never any excitement in her eyes when I surprise her at shows, even if I literally flew half way across the world.

When we make love I give her my all, only for her to roll over like I didn't remotely please her.

I stopped going to clubs, stop drinking, I don't even smoke weed no more, because I don't want to be susceptible to temptation.

And if I absolutely have to go out to a place like a club or something, I always ask her permission.

And the biggest dart in my heart of all, she has not once told me she loved me. Not even slipped up and said it. She hasn't even said she cared for me or that I was important to her.

Yet she's always telling Trey that shit.
For Trey's birthday she wrote this elaborate post about how much he meant to her, how much he has done for her on Instagram. In her interviews she constantly thanks him, like he's some god.

But me she doesn't even publicly acknowledge. She doesn't post me on instagram, twitter.

She'll even take pics with Chi and post them.

I worked hard in school. Made the Deans list since I started. Her response: "oh that's nice."

I have endured this shit for the past year and a half because I felt like I deserved it. I messed up badly and I wanted her forgiveness so bad that i was willing to let her treat me like pure shit.

And I never complained. But to miss my birthday, when I already don't get to see you was the last straw.

"You fucking Trey?"

"I don't know who you talking to."

"Tell me. Be honest about the shit. Instead of being sneaky. I be seeing y'all."

"Let's not get started on honesty Mr. I can't be honest if it bit me in the Muthafuckin ass."

"This yo way of getting back at me?"

"August nobody is thinking about you. Trey is my manager. I talk to him about business you know what, I'm not explaining my self to you."

"You wrong." I got my pillow off the bed to go sleep in the guest room.

"I have done everything I could to make it up to you. A nigga has scrapped his knees until they bled trying to show you how sorry he was, and you treat me like shit. Like I don't mean nothing to you. You ain't even told me you loved me, not even once. But you tell Trey that shit all the time."

She looked at me silent for a minute.

"If you're leaving please hit the light on your way out. Trey got me a flight in the morning." She yawned then snuggled under the pillows.

I was so tempted to go back into old Aug mode with my vicious mouth. But something told me to just walk away so I did, cutting off the light.

I was really starting to regret why I fought so hard. For what? All my fighting for her was in vain.