Subtle Steps in Solitude

• 13 • A certain calm

He nodded, and we both lapsed into a comfortable silence, sipping our coffee.

As I returned to my office, I found myself thinking about the small but significant changes in my life. Remus had brought a new perspective, one that had started to ripple through other areas of my life as well. I wasn't sure where it would lead, but for the first time in a long time, I was okay with not knowing.

*****

The next morning brought with it the usual whirlwind of emails, reports, and meetings, but there was something lighter in the air, as if the weight on my shoulders had lessened just a fraction. Remus, of course, was sprawled out on the windowsill as if he owned the place, casting me a lazy glance as I slipped on my heels and grabbed my bag for work.

"You're spoiled, you know that?" I murmured, running a hand over his fur before heading out the door.

At the office, things were busy as usual, but there was a growing sense of connection that had been missing for a long time. Lianne popped her head into my office right after my second meeting of the day, her face lighting up with that infectious grin of hers.

"Ms. Tan, wanna have dinner out?" she asked, a hopeful lilt in her voice. "I could really use a break."

I smiled. "Of course. Actually, I was thinking Melissa could join us too. Let's have dinner and coffee."

Lianne's eyes sparkled with surprise. "Oh! That sounds great."

I shot Melissa a quick message, inviting her to meet us at a nearby café after work. Her response was almost instant: Would love that! See you there, Cici.

After work, Lianne and I had to drive Remus home and drop him off before going to our meetup place.

By the time we arrived at the café, the late afternoon sun was casting a warm, golden glow through the windows. The café had that perfect balance of cozy and modern, with wooden tables, Nordic seats, and the soothing hum of the espresso machine filling the space. It's neat that they also serve full meals.

Melissa was already there, sitting at a corner table, looking more relaxed than I'd seen her in months. She waved as we approached, her smile reaching her eyes.

"Hey, ladies," she greeted us. "I've already ordered my coffee. I couldn't wait."

Lianne laughed. "That's the spirit. I'm about to do the same."

We quickly placed our orders and settled into the comfortable seating. The conversation flowed easily between us, starting with light topics—office gossip, weekend plans, and Lianne's latest obsession with some ridiculous reality show.

"I swear, it's like a train wreck. You can't look away," Lianne said, rolling her eyes dramatically.

Melissa chuckled. "I could use a good distraction. What's it called?"

"Paradise Island. It's a complete disaster. You'll love it," Lianne replied, grinning.

I found myself relaxing, enjoying the banter and camaraderie. It was moments like this that I realized how much I had been missing out on by keeping myself so closed off. Maybe having these kinds of connections wasn't as terrifying as I'd always thought.

As we talked, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned, and there he was—Joshua Lim. He was holding a cup of coffee, looking as composed as ever. He'd said something that had stuck with me ever since.

"You don't have to carry it all alone," he'd said back then, his voice calm but full of understanding.

His words left an imprint on me. Seeing him now, my heart skipped a beat—not because of any romantic feelings, but because he represented a time when I had allowed myself to be vulnerable.

"Joshua," I said, surprised but genuinely happy to see him. "It's been a while."

He smiled warmly, the same kind smile that had made me feel so at ease that day at the museum. "Cici, good to see you. How's everything?"

Before I could respond, he glanced at Lianne and Melissa, offering them a polite nod. "Mind if I join you all for a bit?"

"Of course," I said, motioning to an empty chair.

Joshua pulled up a seat, and soon, the conversation shifted naturally, with him asking how things had been since we'd last spoken. We filled him in on work, life, and a few lighthearted anecdotes about Remus, who had become the unexpected star of the discussion.

"You got a cat?" Joshua asked, raising an eyebrow. "I never would've pegged you as a cat person."

I laughed. "Neither did I. But, well, life has a funny way of surprising you."

Joshua nodded thoughtfully. "It does indeed."

There was a lull in the conversation then, and Joshua gave me a knowing look. I felt a flicker of vulnerability spark within me. There was something about him that made me feel like I could be honest, like I could let the façade drop for just a moment.

"I've been thinking about what you said, back at the café," I admitted quietly.

Joshua's expression softened, and he waited patiently, letting me continue.

"About not carrying everything on my own. It's taken me a while, but I think... I'm starting to understand what you meant. Letting people in—it's not as scary as I thought it would be."

Lianne and Melissa exchanged a glance but remained respectfully quiet, letting the moment unfold.

Joshua leaned back in his chair, his gaze steady and kind. "I'm glad to hear that, Cici."

His words settled over me like a blanket of comfort, and I felt a warmth in my chest that I hadn't felt in a long time. I glanced at Lianne and Melissa, who were both smiling, and then back at Joshua.

"Thanks," I said softly.

Joshua smiled again, that same calming presence emanating from him. "Anytime."

The conversation turned lighter after that, drifting back to funny stories and shared laughs. For the first time in a long time, I felt surrounded by people who genuinely cared about me—not because of what I could do for them or how I performed at work, but just because of who I was.

As the evening drew to a close, we all parted ways with promises of future coffee dates and catch-ups. I watched Joshua disappear into the crowd outside the café, his presence still lingering in the back of my mind.

"You okay?" Lianne asked as we walked together back to the office.

I nodded, feeling a strange sense of peace wash over me. "Yeah. I think I am."

We walked in comfortable silence for a while before Lianne broke it. "You know, I'm really glad we did this. You, me, Melissa—it feels good."

I smiled at her. "Yeah. It does."

As I headed home that night, Remus waiting for me by the door, I realized just how much my life had shifted in such a short time. I wasn't sure where these new connections would lead, but for the first time in a long time, I was willing to find out.

Because maybe, just maybe, I didn't have to carry everything on my own anymore.