Cursed Loop

CHAPTER XIV

*The following contains self harm

I woke up. Nonchalantly continue to do the same events while keeping the determination to protect her.

As soon as lunch starts, I quickly pulled her to me; away from the crowd. I hugged her tightly to claim to everyone she is mine.

"Wha- what are you doing ____?" *Confused*
"Don't ask, I'm only keeping you safe"
*She smirks slyly* "You're being possessive now I see~"
"What! No!" *pushed her away* "It's not my fault if you're weak" *pouts*
*Sigh* "So rude...but I'm not weak though"
"Yes you are" *dismissively turning around*
"Hmm~ then will you protect me until the end?" *Leaning forward*
"Uhum..." *Blushing shyly*
"Hehe~"

Some days passed and nothing happened. It is not a reason for me to let my guard down tomorrow.

After a while nothing happened. It seems unusual for that straight two days of her death but I felt somehow relieved.

"I think that culprit got caught again"
"What culprit?"
*Startled* "Nothing" *trying to compose*
"Mhmm...You seem weird"
"Is that an insult?"
"No…I mean since we got to that mall you are acting like super cautious like, like, everything" *speaking in a joking manner*
"It's for you own good"

She became silent after that phrase. I could see her face being in distressed. I tried to cheer her up in a soft tone.

"I can't be calm when I have the thought of you getting hurt..." *Gulps before speaking* "I care for you okay?" *Blushes while looking away*
"I care for you also, so please ..." *She hesitated before speaking* "Be aware of yourself also"
"Don't worry about it, I can handle it" *nonchalantly ignoring my deaths*
"Then...let's date again?"
*Groaned* "Again?"
"C'mon~ it has been a long time"
"We had one just a week ago"
"Two weeks to be exact"
"Ihh..." *Irritated*
"If you agree, I'll give you a little gift" *smirking playful*
"It's alright; I'm not a material boy"
"Pfft"

She crawled down the ground while holding her mouth; trying not to laugh. Even if she tries to, I could still hear her wheezing. She looks very happy, I somewhat felt it too. She now calms down then stands up.

"Where..." *Still gasping for air* "Where did you learn that...HAHAHAHH"

I let it pass this time because…

[He is having a flashback of her death]

(I wished that motherfucker won't come ruining my date)

Both of us are now at the beach. Her thinking randomly is just how she is. It is actually summer now and she suggested waiting a little more for the vacation. The beach is rich with golden sands; the heat of the weather blurs my vision. Behind the deep blue wave, a woman in a slimmed body figure that could make any men fall prey for her charm. The woman turned around then shouts.

"Hey! Let's dive in!"

The woman in a diving suit smiles while wearing goggles and have a hanging snorkeler. I was shocked from disappointment of losing my imagination. Isn't it supposed to be her wearing a bikini; would play at the beach and chase around at the sea shore while the sunset sets the mood? She comes running towards me.

"Are you deaf? Or maybe...you got too charmed hehe~"
(After insulting me, she starts playing around?)
"I would rather be blind than be a deaf" *walks away*
"Wha— what's that supposed to mean? Hey!" *Pulling me back*
*Sighs* "Leave me alone for god's sake..."

As always, I end up agreeing to her whimsical plays. Diving into the ocean, I never realize how colorful underwater. The corals sway; schools of fish are swimming around us and then she is there at my side, taking pictures at every single thing. She looks goofy though that made me chuckle a little. I thought her dense brain won’t think of being accompanied with professional divers although it might cost a sum of money. She hired 3 divers which are exaggerated, one diver is enough. I followed her while she is taking pictures of the octopus near a colorful rock. The octopus is tiny with bright orange hue and has some blue polka dots pattern. I looked at her.  Even if her mouth is using a snorkeler, the form of her smile is obvious. She slowly turns around to show me the pictures from this waterproof camera; it was fucking blurry, her focus sucks. When I glanced back at her face, the looks on her eyes are frightened.

“Beflp- heng- wou!”
[Behind you]

I can’t understand the words coming out from her. Her attention appears to be coming from my back. I shifted my body as fast as I could and there it was, a giant shark staring right in front of me. I got startled that made me twitch my body then froze. The look of the shark at me darkens my mind and made me hard to breath; the fear that engulfs me feels like an eternity.

(Am I gonna die?)

Luckily the other divers’ blocks us then pats the shark. It looks like the shark is a pet for a second but I won’t forget the gaze of bloodlust that thing gave me. I turned around only to find her missing. I asked the other divers where is she by using hands gestures. The left diver is slow to understand but one of them got it then took out a phone to type. He showed me a phone and it says.

[She was the one that informed us about the shark]

There are only two of them, after a while the third diver come swimming at us in a panic manner. He snatched the phone from the other driver then writes down to explain to me.
[While I was cleaning the urchins, she vanished from my side]
From there one I lost my mind. How could possibly he lost her? Then I remembered her strength is not even human but still I don’t get why she would swam off away? These thoughts keep pondering on my head, worried about her state. I pulled the dive suit of the diver then glared at him furiously; the other divers pulled me away from him but I think they understand what my eyes meant. I tried to get off from them; it was pointless as how much they can freely move around the water more. All of us reached the surface then throw me on the yatch. I removed my snorkeler then scolded at them.

“Why would you leave her? She could have been killed!”

All of the divers removed their snorkelers; one person spoke to me in a calm and irritated tone.

“We will search for her with the search team therefore you must sit down—“
“It’s those sharks right? Those monsters you treated like pets, are now their feeding time?”
“Watch your mouth!”
“You shut your mouth!”

We continued to argue until they all decided to just go at the shore and find her later.

I waited, for a long time until it is dark. They didn't let me join the search team because I need to calm down they say. How could I even calm down from knowing the fate that awaits her? I'm sitting in this glistening beach while waves of salty ocean crawls up the shore. It is windy; I could feel my mind fleeting within the time of numbness that breaks my sanity. After a while a yacht got aboard the shore. Many people are carrying a body. I couldn't believe that I unconsciously widened my eyes from shock. I started panting as I run towards the yacht to clearly confirm what I saw. I'm terrified for the outcome I will see but still determined to know as I stumbled upon by being weakened. I finally reached the destination; a bloodied body, wet hair mixed with red, cut off limb of a leg and fingers, and her pale face that is dried from salt water. It was gory, more worse than I thought; my eyes won't stop producing tears. I blinked my eyes repeatedly while thinking this is all just a nightmare but it was foolish. How foolish of me to let my guard down. It was my entire fault. I run away, far away from the yacht while still envisioning her horrid lifeless body. The colors around me became dull.

I am devastated, still thinking how I could have done that. I saw a glimpse of the moon on top of the cliff. I completely lost my thought as I continued to walk straight to the edge. I stopped to look down beneath me. The ocean is beautiful yet terrifying; the moonlight shines down the ocean as it dances with the winds. I kneeled down as I focused my sight on the moon.

"My moon as pure and white as snow, I'm sorry from the blood that I gave you, for it is fate that devours you. Light me the way to death, will then shall I change your death"

I let myself fall off the cliff. The feeling of pressure as I shower down to my death gives off a relaxing sensation. I hit the water, it is painful and tearing my body apart. My body slowly sinks underwater. I gaze upon above, the scenery has a bright hue color that comes from the light of the moon; It is vibrantly corresponding to the large waves. I sank and sank deeply until the darkness around engulfs me. At that point, I saw the ocean conciliation as it reveals the moon's beauty. It is mesmerizing that I could die, although I live again. With this little time that I have, I slumber beyond the veil.

Flash