NERD AND THE BIN BABY

15 0 1
                                        

*Im strolling down the streets of NERDVILLE, holding my waifu body pillow in hand. im scoffing on a bag of peanuts, my favourite snack. my greasy grub lands in the bag again, frantically searching for a peanut, but to no avail, nothing is there. i open the top up wide and put it up to my grease-stained glasses. when i peer inside, nothing is there. "erm.. what the sigma? where the flip did all my peanuts go!!" i groan, frustrated, i scan around for a bin, I doesn't want to litter, that's dishonest to my waifu, Mikasa Ackerman. when i finally spot one in the distance through my glasses that have no vision, it seems to be a short black bin with vape stickers all over it, it was pretty much overflowing. i gasp and i rush over, making sure not to drop my prized possession. then i ball up the peanut bag and i shove it in the bin, when i hear a whining. "what the flip?" i peers inside, theres a baby! i puts my crusty catchers into the bin and pulls the baby out. it's crying and whining. "ew! stop that you freak!!" i screams at the baby, spit flying all over the baby, it carries on crying. i dont know what to do, i've never been in presence of a woman, let alone a baby!! i star at it, it was covered in trash and my peanut crumbs. it cries non-stop. "baby! stop it! youre embarrassing me infront of my waifu!" i slap it across the face, it starts to cry more. "stop it!!" at this point, i start to get angry. i begin to carry it around, hoping it would soothe the baby from its distress. maybe it's sad because it hasn't got a beautiful waifu like mine? either way, no waifu can be cuter then my beautiful wife. the baby hasn't stopped crying yet, i'm getting really mad at this point. it's ruining my date with Mikasa Ackerman. i look around, i notice an edge. the edge of a cliff. "okay baby? are you ready?" i run up to the edge, getting ready to pelt it, it cries more and this agitates me. i sling it off the edge, hearing the thud that follows afterwards. i wipe my hands off, admiring the work i had perceived. i grab my body pillow, and i head home. "what a lovely that was, am i right?" i say to my body pillow. i burst through my apartment door and slunk on my couch, eating more peanuts. i turn on the tv, getting ready to watch some anime when the emergency news comes on, it displays a picture of me, holding the baby, and a picture of me slinging the baby off the edge. "oh no, Mikasa, we have to flee!"

THE END!

stay tuned for more nerd stories

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Aug 08, 2024 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

ADVENTURES WITH NERD AND SOMETHING SOMETHINGWhere stories live. Discover now