Awake

Chapter Forty-Four - Broken People

It took Carmen some time to come to a decision but, in the end, it seemed obvious. She had been walking in circles for hours, round and round the labyrinthine corridors, trying to find somewhere to stop and think and feeling more and more caged, more and more trapped. She used to climb up to the crosstrees when she needed space, look up at the stars. There weren't any stars here.

And that was it. The decision made in one quiet little sound at the back of her mind. She needed the stars. She needed to get out of this place. The solution to that was plain: destroy the last remnants of the high command, find the key card, open the door, get out. Even if there was only a wasteland. Even if she got killed trying.

Carmen knew, the moment she reached Jonathan's office and saw his face, that he had come to the exact same conclusion. Their eyes met for a second and she forced a thin, grim little smile. He nodded once.

"We can't do this anymore," he said.

"I know."

"We've left them several days. We can't just hang around waiting. Sooner or later, it's all going to fall apart."

"I know."

"We don't know how strong they'll be or the weapons they will have or anything of that kind. We can't plan for this. We just have to open the doors and run in and hope."

Carmen nodded. "Yes. I know."

Jonathan managed a smile. "Do you think the others will agree?"

"Does it matter?"

"No," he replied. "No, it does not."

When it came down to it, the others had mixed opinions. Nigs turned pale but agreed. Puck shrugged and ignored them. Natalia bowed her head and said, quietly, that it was Jonathan's decision. Miriam, to Carmen's surprise, set her mouth in an unforgiving line and nodded once.

Sandy was less keen but, by now, Carmen had come to expect that. He didn't argue either. He seemed too deeply wrapped up in some thought or other, hardly listening. Ebb, on the other hand, lit up like a firework.

"When do we go?" he demanded. "Tomorrow?"

"Whoa, slow down!" Carmen raised a hand. "You can't come!"

Ebb rounded on her. "What are you talking about? Of course I'm coming!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Natalia shook her head. "You'd get yourself killed."

Ebb stared, incredulous. "What do you mean? I'm your best fighter! You know I am!"

"You got yourself pretty beaten up out there last time," Nigs said, doubtfully.

"Don't," Carmen cut in, before Ebb could rip him to pieces. "He is right. He fights better than anyone I've ever seen."

"So why," Ebb said, with dangerous calm, "am I not allowed to join the assault?"

"Because you're walking on crutches," Carmen snapped. "Ok? Your hand is shredded, you can't stand up on your own, you can't fight. Be reasonable, Ebb. What use will you be out there?"

Ebb's fist shot out and Carmen felt her head snap backwards, pain searing across her cheekbone. She didn't even have time to think before she found her face pressed against the cold tiles of the floor, her arm twisted around so far that she could feel the bone ready to break, Ebb's weight pinning her down. She was shocked, furious, but impressed. It had been a long time since someone had taken her down easily.

"Useless?" he snarled in her ear. "You're calling me useless?"

"Let her up!" Natalia cried. "Let her up! Now!"