Awake

Chapter Twenty-Two - Homesickness

"I think that went well," Jonathan announced. "If I do say so myself."

"Very well," Natalia looked amused. "People are happier today than they've been in a long time."

"Yes, I noticed that," Jonathan frowned. "Why?"

They were walking along from the youth commanders' corridor to the mess hall, dressed in fresh clothes. Jonathan had made an important discovery that morning: they had clothes for training that weren't uniforms, and were much more comfortable. He intended to wear them more often.

"Because we're finally doing something," Natalia spread her arms wide. "We've spent years knowing that nothing was going to happen till you woke up! And nothing was going to change either. I was only filling in. I wasn't actually in charge. You were. And now you're awake and things are happening and...everyone's expecting a major change."

"What kind of major change?" Jonathan asked, interested.

"They think we're going into battle," Natalia grinned a pointed-toothed smile. "They've never been so excited."

Jonathan frowned but didn't reply. Some of them were far too young to be so happy about the idea of rushing to their deaths.

"Don't be old," Natalia nudged him. "They romanticise. Anyway, they've been trained all their lives to fight and kill and now they think they might be able to for once. It's like we have a purpose again."

"It certainly feels more awake," Jonathan agreed.

There was no denying the change in the air. As they walked into the mess hall, it hummed with conversation. Voices were louder. Plates clattered. Laughter rang out. There was a sense of energy that had been lacking, an edge of excitement.

Jonathan wondered how it had felt these past few years, or perhaps forever, not really having any purpose to your life. How could you even know yourself if you didn't know what you were going to have to do? He couldn't imagine being a soldier without a battle to fight. It would be wrong in every way.

"Evening," he announced, dropping into his customary seat. "How are you?"

"Absolutely peachy," Carmen gave him a thumbs-up.

There was a large bruise turning purple on her cheek and she had abandoned her brief effort to braid her hair. Her eyes glowed and there was a flush to her face. Jonathan knew it and felt it. Activity was good for them. Idleness was not.

"It was pretty incredible, actually," Nigs agreed. "There's a lot I still need to learn but...I found myself remembering things I learned here, as well as things I learned back home."

"I know what you mean," Carmen agreed. "There were some movements that were just automatic. I remember that whole hall. Kaede was telling me about tournament days. I think I'm starting to get my memories back."