Loving the football player

Fourteen

I hate today!

I just hate it...

I woke up with the urge to go back to sleep. I know- everyone wants to do that on a school day. But today was extra hard for me. Including all my teen drama, today I had to face the fact that it was my mother's death anniversary- and my birthday!

Yeah! Great way to spend your birthday! I have never been able to have got through my birthday without falling apart. All the years that had passed, my birthday was mostly on weekends. I would just stay in bed and be miserable and cry my eyes out. But not this year! This year apart from the two boys that were in my life and they were fighting and the high school drama that seemed to follow me, I have to get myself together and not lose it in front of the school.

I am the reason my mother died... How can you get over such a thing? If she hadn't gotten pregnant with me in the first place, she wouldn't be dead right now.

Well, I guess I have to explain some things. My mom was really happy when she got pregnant. And my dad as well- surprisingly! They were in their 20s and still in college. My mom was with the headmaster of my school, Mrs. Peterson, and she cheated on him with my dad. Well, they broke up because mom wanted to be with dad and they wanted to raise me together. But Mrs. Peterson stilled loved here as years passed.

Nine months later, I was born. I was a healthy baby and my parents were really happy together. They had their ups and downs in the relationship but they were the best parents anyone can dream of. Mom let dad named me... He named me after my mom because he thought that having his second favorite girl- me-, who looked exactly like his first- my mom-, was the best idea.

No, my mom didn't die in child birth. That's the worse part. And I know that I sound like a really mean person right now. But, I think it would have been so much easier if I hadn't met her. She died when I was fourteen. For fourteen years, I've learnt to love her and I had got used to her being there for me but one day she just disappeared from my life.

We were all in the car. My dad was driving, mom was sitting next to him and I was in the back. We were playing car games trying to pass the time while dad was driving us to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday and mom's big promotion. It was supposed to be just another day in our normal lives.

Then out of nowhere a car hit our car from my mom's side. Dad lost control of the car and we ended up in a ditch. The driver didn't even stop to call an ambulance! I must have fainted because I have a gap in my memory from the moment the car hit us and when I realized we were in a ditch. I had cuts all over my body, my head hurt my stomach hurt- everything hurt.

I shook my head trying to get all those memories from my mind. It worked... I got out of bed and went to take a quick shower before I got dress and got to school. But as soon as the hot water hit my body, the memories flooded back in my mind and I was back there- I was back in that ditch.

I had pieces of glass in my hair and everything in my body hurt. When I realized what had happened, I turned to my parents. They were both unconscious. My mom had a really bad but in her head and there was a huge glass piercing her stomach. My dad had hit his head as well but there was no other visual injury. I tried waking them up but I couldn't...

I crawled out of the car- even though every move I made hurt like hell- and I crawled to the street. It wasn't a deep ditch, but it was deep enough to hide the fact that there was a car down there. As soon as I stood in the middle of the road, I saw headlights coming towards me. I prayed to God that the driver wouldn't hit me so they could be able to help my parents.

The driver stopped in time and got out of the car. And it was one of my teachers. She and her husband were going somewhere and she was worried about me. She thought that something had happened to me. I told them what had happened before darkness fell.

I woke up at the hospital ten days later. They told me mom was dead. She was dead when I woke up in the car. Dad had left. He had some bumps on the head but when he was told that my mom died and that I was okay, he just left. And the doctors couldn't find him. The doctors told me I was lucky to be alive. I had a nasty cut on head but the most serious thing was the internal bleeding that was able to stop. They told me that my heart gave out twice in the operation room...

I was in the hospital for three weeks. In my tenth day, after I woke up, dad sent me a letter. He was writing me that he couldn't live with me anymore because I looked too much like my mom and he couldn't bear to see me every day. Her memory was too painful for him. He also sent me papers that were saying that he was denying his paternal rights.

So, in one day I lost my mom and my dad... And all in my birthday!

After he left, I saw him twice by accident. He moved on. He had a family. He had a wife and a daughter. I didn't talk to him. He reminded me what I had before the accident and I didn't want him back in my life...

I got out of the shower sobbing. I looked myself at the mirror.

"Get it together, Danny!" I said to my reflection.

I looked miserable and I looked broken. I took a deep breath to calm down and my tears dried. Just hold it in for a few more hours and then you can fall apart in your house... I thought and I got dressed.