MR♚ NGSB (No Girlfriend Since Birth) [EDITING]

Chapter Eight

KYLE

I waited for him to respond. But he was only staring at me blankly. As though he didn't like what he's heard.

I finally made it. I've finally asked him the question I've been wanting to ask. It's not that I've already fell in love with him. I only want to try if it will work out. If he was the guy I've been praying for. The guy who will never hurt me.

He cleared his throat breaking the silence.

"Kyle...I...... Look." He was unstable. He can't figure out what to say, but I know it's a NO. It was written all over his face.

"I'm not really sure. You know, this was so sudden. I can't. I'm sorry." He apologized.

I felt like I was struck by a thunder.

"Why not? Don't you like me?"

"No it's not that I don't like you." He said deffensively. "I like you. But..."

"Then why did you kiss me?" I asked him again, causing him to sigh deeply, and avoid my stare.

I can't wait for something worse that he'll say. It's clear to me that the answer was NO. So I walked out. For some reason I waited for him to follow. But he didn't. He did not even say a single word to stop me. So I walked out in disappoinment .

I just got rejected. I can't almost believe it.

Everyone was always curious. Why am I so desperate to have a boyfriend?

And then they see me as a flirt, a slut that wanders around to catch some guy who'll love me. But they don't know the whole thing. Because they don't know who I am. Where do I belong. What I have been through. And what kind of life do I have.

I was desperate to have a boyfriend, because I need someone to be with. I need someone who will love me truly. And I am trying my best, to be the best girlfriend. In the past few years, I had seven boyfriends, and only one of them, made me happy.

I'm not having a boyfriend just to flirt with, I'm looking for a comfort. Someone I could lean and cry on his shoulders. Someone I could trust. Someone who will never leave me.

Because I'm feeling enough pain and sadness with my messed up family. I'm only searching for a happiness. And I believe that love could give it to me.

I also want to move on. From the realtionship I had with the only one among my seven exes.

Leo was his name. He was the happy go lucky type of guy. I met him when I was thirteen. And I've found comfort with him. He made me happy, and forget all the burdens that I bear in our family. Forget all my sufferings. Say my life was dramatic and messy, but it's not a small thing. I will only live once, and I just wanted to be happy.

With Suga, I had so much fun. We were like bestfriends. And I'm happy if I am with him. All his clumsiness, innocence, and everything that makes him perfect. I felt like I want to have him. To be with him. But I am also aware that he wasn't an easy guy. He didn't want to be in a relationship. And that's a bit disappointing.

"WAIT!" I stopped as I heard Suga yelled as I reached the lobby of the apartment building.

I was hesitating to turn around. I was completely embarassed. I can't face him.

My heart raced as he reached for my hand and held it tightly, and pulled me to face him.

He looked sorry. He was frowning and I could see his guilt.

"Look I'm sorry..." He said panting heavily.

I suddenly felt butterflies going wild in my stomach. I wanted to smile but I doubted. I don't want to expect something good now. So I waited for his next words.