So Close Yet So Far

Chapter 5: 'Y' My 'X'

♡ Macy Morgan ♡

     All it took was that brief second for me to recognize his face. The same chestnut brown hair, the same angled jaw line, the same high cheekbones, and his distinctive emerald green eyes.

     I couldn't breathe and I could hear my heart pumping loud in my ears. What was he doing here?

     His eyes scanned the room and we locked eyes. His whole expression changed and all it took was this one look to break my fragile shell into pieces.

     I didn't understand, it was as if my brain short-circuited and needed to be rebooted. Around me, everything was in fast-forward while I was motionless in the middle of it all.

     Spencer McCarter was here.

     My brain refused to register this fact and my whole body went on automatic shut down. I felt limp - even though I was sitting down. My face went slack, mouth slightly hanging open and I felt the color draining from my face as I continued to stare at him.

     The person who broke my heart.

     Snippets of my past flashed in my mind, but only briefly before I was brought back to reality. I'm glad, I didn't want to remember any of it.

     Mr. Steiller looked at Spencer with as much emotion as a plank of wood and waited for an explanation of his late entry. Our locked gaze was finally broken when Mr. Steiller cleared his throat, demanding Spencer's attention.

     "Sorry I'm late, I got a little lost around uh. . . the school." Spencer said as he tore his eyes away from me. His voice sounded distant. "I'm a new student."

     Mr. Steiller looked down at his class attendance sheet and ticked off a name. "Ah, you must be Spencer. Welcome to Carnaby High."

     Spencer nodded his thanks. His eyes met mine fleetingly before he averted his eyes again.

     I was feeling sick and the feeling reached straight down to my gut. I wanted to run to the toilet and scream, I wanted to find Meagan and talk. But what I wanted most now, was to hide.

     My mind was assailed by thousands of unanswered questions all at once. Why did he come back to California? Why did he apply to this school? And... probably the most important question, did he still remember me; and... us?

     No! Stop it!

     I violently shook the thoughts out of my head. There isn't an 'us' anymore. He ended it.

     Snap out of it Macy! You've moved on and he's nothing but history. Bad, unpleasant, history.

     But I knew that was a lie. Up until the point where he broke up with me everything was fine, no, it was better than fine, it was amazing. It was the best relationship I had ever had. I remember waking up every morning with a smile on my face just from the fact of knowing I'll be with him for the entire day. But that all ended three years ago, and that was what sparked my uninterest in boys.

     Mr. Steiller continued introducing the 'new' student to the class.

     "Well, Spencer, since you're new to the school, I think a tour would be a very nice start for the school term considering you'll need to know where all your classes are."

     "That'd be great." Spencer replied with a smile. My eyebrows twitched ever so slightly and a feeling stirred in me. That was the same smile that had melted my heart every time I saw it.

     Mr. Steiller turned towards the class. "Which one of you would like to be a tour guide and show Mr. McCarter around the school?" Spencer's eyes wandered across the room and then settled on me. Frowning, I turned away.