hatred {editing}

[49] She's Gone

➳Emily

It has been a few days since the breakup and I've felt nothing but miserable.

I didn't realize that it would make me feel this way because it didn't when I broke up with Jake. Maybe it was because with Jake it was a mutual breakup. It was boring. No drama. Nothing at all.

Maybe because Luke and I go through a lot of drama that we know that we'd be there for each other. But now that it's over, I guess you could say that it wasn't the best idea I ever thought of.

We both reacted in different ways. There's me who is miserable and crying my eyes out every night and remembering the exact scene of the breakup as it replays over and over in my head.

But then there's Luke. Anger filled him. He became the most cold-hearted person you could ever meet. He was more moody and angry towards everyone. It was all my fault.

I created a monster. I was the one who broke his heart. Now he just wants to break everyone's face.

I haven't been trying to avoid him, how can I we are staying in the same house as each other! But we did rearrange the room arrangements.

Calum and Meredith slept in one room, Reagan and Michael slept in another, Ashton and Luke slept in one and I was to room with Mia.

I didn't think that it'll be that bad sharing a room with Mia. It wasn't like I was going to live there forever, just for one more night.

Firstly, I just couldn't bear to see Luke. It would only remind me of how I broke up with him. I didn't want to be more devastated than I already was and I didn't want to remind Luke either.

It broke my heart to walk away from him, to walk away from everything we had. More importantly to say those few words that could change anyone's relationship.

Sure, it was a clean getaway from all the drama and the pain he has caused me but I realized that this was the end of our relationship. I don't know if we could ever get to where we were again. It just all vanished.

Secondly, he clearly didn't want to see me. I broke his heart after all, why would he?

"This is nice." Meredith said, cuddling with Calum as we all sat around the campfire, "All of us together, spending our last night of spring break around this warm campfire."

"Except for the stupid mosquitoes!" Michael said swatting the pesky bugs away from his face, "You see this is why I don't go outside."

"That's why you put bug spray on, babe." Reagan said, "It repels them."

"It's a good thing that you don't attract them," Michael said, "I'm the only one that gets to be attracted to you."

"Aw." She said, clearly blushing and we didn't know why. Their relationship was fairly strange but we all agreed that they still wee the cutest couple on the planet.

"Are you seriously hitting on Reagan with the use of bugs?" Calum said, disgusted, "You picked the right girl if she thinks that's cute."

We all laughed. I guess we did have a great spring break this year. We were surrounded with all our friends and everyone was happy...sort of.

I sat across from Luke and the fire was what was between us. He kept glancing at me through the flames but I didn't look back. I didn't want to see him and I surely didn't want him to see that I was miserable.

I hadn't spoken a word to him. What was I suppose to say? I didn't know if he would actually listen to what I had to say.

So I just looked up at the stars or at how happy my friends are. They were all happy, why shouldn't I be?