Questions for a Madman

Email to my ex lover

To whom it may concern,

I hope you are doing well,

I'm not sure,

If wishing you well,

Is courtesy,

Of my heart that still aches for you,

Or of my upbringing

You see,

I was taught to treat others with my morals,

Not theirs

I really need to move on

To get over you,

Purge you

From my mind

And my heart

I heard you were looking worse off than when we parted

A part of me

The rational part

Of a woman wronged

Is joyful

But the other part (delusional)

Hopes it's out of guilt

Out of longing for me

And my forgiveness

I still have this silly fantasy

That you'll come back

And apologize

For all the pain you've caused me

That you'll grovel

While I play the ice queen

And eventually

You warm the ice around my heart

You'll bandage the fragile pieces together

With the gentle care of a lover

As if you were a painter

Desperately using brush strokes on a canvas

To bare a portrait of such detail

That one error would be the end of it all

Then in classic romance fashion.

After proving yourself to me,

You'd confess your love for me in a grand monologue

Admitting that you've always loved me

But were too foolish and too selfish

To know what to do about it

Because you knew I deserved better

And as you grew older and wiser

After having your fill

Of the frivolous joys of the superficial

You'd decided

To become a man worthy of my love

I would deny your feelings

Out of fear for my scarred heart

Although it was the moment

That I'd been waiting for

Since I laid my eyes on you

And you'd force me to see the truth

My lord would allow me

To find in you

What I'd been missing my whole life

And maybe then

We would share a chaste kiss

In a fit of passion

You'd run to my father

To avoid further temptation

And we'd become husband and wife

Providing each other

With the warm embrace of our hearts

As our souls dance

And the stars sparkle in our eyes

As we make love

Under the moonlight

-h.b.