15: ambitious

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As soon as Nila got home, she beelined for the kitchen to get some water

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As soon as Nila got home, she beelined for the kitchen to get some water. She let the cool water soothe her, bracing herself on the marble counter. She closed her eyes and thought of the cloud of thick awkwardness that hung over Vijay and Nila throughout the trip to her apartment. Nila thought she was used to silence but she was no match for the one in the auto, deafening and suffocating.

She gulped more water and her mind ran through all the events of that day. Oh, how sweetly it had begun. She had thought it was adorable of Vijay to beg her to hangout with him. The only thing that had worried her in the afternoon had been how easily she had decided to go through the discomfort of lying to her parents for him.

She couldn't help but wonder, did she overreact? Was it her fault that she was a coward? If she was any other woman, would she have been grateful for Vijay's actions instead of condemning them? What if Vijay didn't want to hang out with her anymore, knowing now that she wasn't as brave a woman she had portrayed herself to be? Or that she wasn't grateful for what he'd done for her? Thoughts and doubts spun inside her mind, stitching a deep sense of guilt and dissatisfaction into her skin. She couldn't bear it if she had put Vijay on trial for something he hadn't done.

She needed to know what was going on in Vijay's mind. She needed to know so she could do something to ease this situation.

Nila needed advice.

Anamika entered the little space that had been sold as the living room and was startled when she saw Nila standing in the kitchen like a statue, staring off into the distance. "Jeez, breathe, woman. Make a sound. Show me you are alive," she said, carrying a wet mop that smelled like Dettol. "You're late. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, y-yes," she said, not wanting to worry her. "Where is Priya?"

"In her room, sick. She is puking her guts out like she is pregnant. Don't know what nonsense she ate outside— wait! What if she's pregnant? She stayed over with Anirudh last weekend, didn't she?" Anamika said, dropping the mop with a clatter and marching back into Priya's room. Priya was the most careful person she had ever known and there was no way she could have taken a risk. Nila didn't worry much.

"You horny bitch!" Anamika's voice came from the room before the door opened and shut with a bang. She walked to the door and stuffed her feet in her sandals.

"Where are you going?"

"To get her a pregnancy test. She says she was careful but I don't believe her. There is doubt written all over her face."

"Do you want me to come?"

"No, it's fine. Can you make something for the both of us? I made rice porridge for Priya and didn't have time to cook dinner."

Nila agreed, grateful for the distraction. Cooking didn't come effortlessly to her. She had to put a lot of thought and effort into the process so there was no way she could linger on her spiralling thoughts.

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