Dare You To Love Me

«42» faith and fear

The room felt oppressively quiet as Yaseerah sat on the edge of Mamu’s hospital bed, waiting anxiously for Dr. Seda to deliver the results of the latest tests.

Her mind raced with a mix of hope and dread, each second feeling like an eternity, the longer they waited.

Please let it be good news, she silently prayed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her knuckles white with the effort to hold herself together.

Bilal stood on the other end of the room with his back to her, staring outside the window, looking so lost in his thoughts she didn’t bother him.

When a soft knock came on the door, both siblings turned as one, nervous anticipation coursing through them, as Dr. Seda entered the room.

“Good afternoon, Yaseerah, Bilal,” Dr. Seda greeted them, her voice gentle but tinged with seriousness. “I have the results of the tests we conducted earlier.”

Yaseerah’s heart skipped a beat, as she exchanged a worried glance with Bilal before turning her attention back to the doctor.

“Your mother’s condition has taken an unexpected turn,” she began, smiling softly to soften the blow of her next words. “She’s experiencing a rare phenomenon called Transient Global Amnesia, or TGA.”

“What does that mean?” Yaseerah queried, her eyes widening slightly, as she clutched the edges of the mattress tightly.

She had spent countless hours researching glioblastoma, but this was new, and unexpected.

Another curveball, she thought, trying to steady her racing heart. Just when I thought I knew what we are dealing with.

“It’s a temporary memory loss, absolutely unrelated to the glioblastoma,” Dr. Seda explained, her expression optimistic which did nothing to lessen the worry in the siblings’ hearts. “It means her memories might return. TGA is temporary, and caused by different factors which are absolutely unrelated to the glioblastoma. We’ve seen cases where patients regain their memories, sometimes suddenly, without warning.”

“So, she’ll remember everything?” Bilal queried, a hopeful tinge in his voice.

“Think of it as something like a curtain, shrouding her memories,” she explained. “It can lift at any moment. The TGA affects short-term memory, but long-term memories can resurface. We need to be patient, but–”

“But, she seemed to have lost her long-term memories,” Yaseerah interrupted, her brows knitting together in confusion, a painful mix of hope and longing tugging at her chest. “Will she remember who she is?”

“Identity is complex, but TGA often spares the sense of self. So, we are hoping that in time, she’ll come to remember everything. That aside however,” Dr. Seda continued, “due to these unforeseen complications, we’ll need to start her on chemotherapy earlier than we had initially planned.”

Yaseerah sniffled, her heart sinking at the news, and for the first time, she needed someone to hold onto. “Is it safe for her to undergo chemotherapy in her current state?”

Dr. Seda’s gaze softened. “We will proceed with caution and monitor her closely. Given her overall health and resilience, we believe she can tolerate the treatment. The goal is to target the glioblastoma while keeping her as comfortable as possible.”

Yaseerah’s throat worked, as she considered the various implications surrounding Mamu’s health. “Considering her lupus, are there additional risks associated with chemotherapy?”

“I shouldn’t be discussing this with you considering your mother isn’t aware of our discussion but yes,” Dr. Seda nodded. “Her lupus does pose some additional challenges. Chemotherapy can weaken the immune system, which could potentially exacerbate her lupus symptoms or increase the risk of infection.”