Wait For You in 5 Stages

Pt.15 : Wistfulness

1:14pm. My eyes slowly flutter open to a bright light beaming through the window. The blinds were open today.

The air felt still and cold but I could see dust flying around in the sunlight. The sun is something that reminds me of him.

I shot up from bed. My body was engulfed in a surge of adrenaline when I remembered what had happened last night. I fell asleep before I even got to say goodbye.

The second time he's gone and I still didn't get to say goodbye. again.

I rubbed my eyes and stayed sitting in bed for a moment, holding my head. I didn't get to ask what happened.

Last night I saw him then I clearly remember falling asleep and dreaming about our first interaction again. So him visiting wasn't a dream right? I hope...

Today I got up quicker than I did in the past few months. Before I went to the bathroom, I looked around and imagined him still lying on the bedroom floor, wrapped up in a blanket. 3 months and 15 days. This is how long it took for me to get to this stage.

I finally looked at myself in the mirror without *those* thoughts. Instead, I was encapsulated in something different this time.

'My eyelashes are not as long as his', I thought. His were always longer but I think it made him charming. But at least my hair was not as messy as his in the mornings. I remember how funny he looked.

I laughed.

Albeit a short chuckle but, I laughed looking at myself in the mirror thinking of him. It's been 3 months and 15 days.

After I was finished, I went back out and instead of going straight to our room again, I went to the living room and sat on a chair beside the window.

I looked out and noticed it was snowing today. I liked how silent it was when it snowed and I got to watch each snowflake fall and melt. Today I wanted to feel the coldness of the snow. And the crunch under my feet and the nostalgic feeling I always got when I walked back in to a warm house. It's been 3 months and 15 days since I've wanted to do that.

Camille must be at work. She stopped cooking for me and instead leaving money for me to buy food since I started waking up so late. Maybe today I'll go to that bakery from before...

Its been...how long?

Today I'll go outside, pass by the weredog fighting arena, say hello to Sera, then come back home from the bakery with a small white cake in my hands. It's been a while anyway.