Wait For You in 5 Stages

Ch. 7 : Anger

The world outside looked so gloomy and dark. From Camille's open window, I could see people walking around and kids catching snowflakes. None of these people know the pain of losing everything.

I turned away and sat on the couch to stare at the ceiling till I fell asleep again. I heard the front door unlock and someone walk in but my body was too heavy to get up and look. The left side of my head was slightly hurting and my stomach felt full even though I had not eaten at all today. I winced at the sound of rubbery footsteps.

A tinge of anger struck my heart as the footsteps got louder and my hands flung to my ears to escape the sound. Camille peeked over the couch and looked at me. She said something but I just stared and kept my ears plugged. I wish she would just leave me alone. I'm clearly not in the mood so could she just go?

I saw her walk into the kitchen and start cooking. I sat up and unplugged my ears. The room was starting to get warm and the sounds of the old stove knobs was getting annoying.  The sounds of her feet thumping on the floor made my heart race. Then the sound of a child crying outside made my teeth clench. Then finally Camille dropping a glass sent me off the couch.

I couldn't bear to be without peace. I stomped my way to my room and covered myself in my blanket. I do get bothered and overwhelmed by loud noises but to be ticked off by the smallest of sounds was unlike me. Lumine would be noisy all the time. But it wasn't Lumine making these sounds so it pissed me off. Maybe I just need him.

If I could.. hug him right now, the ball of anger in my heart would dissolve so fast. But I can't. Because something happened to him.

..something happened...

Everyone at Lumine's funeral had refused to speak about how he died. I found it difficult to ask Sera and Camille anyway but they couldn't have just told me without asking? Wouldn't they think that Lumine's best friend should know how he died? How could everyone but me know? Am I a horrible friend for not knowing?

The day I found out Lumine died, I escaped from my mother's house. I was kidnapped by that golden werewolf and waited to see Lumine everyday for months. My mother even told me she would let me see him. So I had arrived at that abandoned school but never found him. Had he been dead all that time?

What if she was lying. What if that evil bitch was telling me I could see him one day but he was dead all along. What if she kept him alive until the day I escaped? What if he was in pain that whole time. If I could, I would fucking kill her.

I still don't know how he died though. It could be that gold werewolf or my mother. But in my head I refused to believe it was either of them, because I looked them both in the eyes once. I could never look in the eyes of a murderer. Especially someone who murdered my best friend.

I really..really hope he wasn't killed. It's so hard to breathe now. I hope Lumine's death was a peaceful and painless experience. But I could never know.

It's all bullshit. My life. His life. Our lives. We were treated like nothing. All our hard work is fucking gone. All the shit we've been through is meaningless now. We have been tricked and if I had been raised by a woman who killed someone who I had loved, I would much rather end her legacy through me.

I want him back. My life is shit because some fucker out there ruined everything. I could kill, to have him back. I don't care to sin because there is no god out there who can take anything more away from me. Because everything I love is gone.