Wait For You in 5 Stages

Pt. 13 : Depression

Our dark room was illuminated by a single strip of moonlight coming through the curtains. The only noise I could hear was the occasional crunch of snow outside from people heading home from work. It was cold and my blanket had fallen off my arms, but I was so strangled in shock that I couldn't move.

I look down and see a faint red cloth wrapped around my torso with pale, damaged hands holding on to me.

I weakly look beside me to see faded white hair lying on my shoulder.

I wait a few moments to cherish the sight, incase I really was hallucinating.

My heart felt heavy, as if I was sitting in water with the pressure crushing my body.

I didn't feel any warmth though. I didn't necessarily feel anything. I could only see the hands wrapped around my stomach clenching and shaking.

"Lumine?"

The hands let go and I was finally allowed to look behind me.

"Kody..."

It was him. Tears welled in my eyes almost immediately but I didn't want to wipe my eyes in fear that he'll disappear when I close them. I slowly slip the blanket off my legs and crawled closer to him. I simply stared, It's all I could really do.

I should be happy, but I was horrified.

Lumine was right before my eyes but his body and face did not resemble the boy I saw months ago.

His ear was cut at the tip, his classic red hoodie ripped and torn, blood stained hair and clothes and his skin looked...fake. His whole body was somewhat see-through but it still did not look like Lumine. His skin was hard to focus on, as if the world didn't want me to analyze that something was clearly wrong. Light patches of red covered his skin and some pieces looked glued on...it was difficult to comprehend. Something terrible had happened.

"Lumine...Is it really you? Am I going crazy?" I desperately tried to grab at his hands but to no avail. My own hands went straight through him and landed on my blankets.

"Yea. I really wanted to see you.. I'm so sorry I left you behind...I tried fighting as much as I could but I couldn't keep going."

"Stop that..you always do that. You saved my life, I am so thankful for everything you've done Lumine." I forced out a smile.

I sniffled and coughed as I cried, staring at his eyes. They were the same eyes I recognized though. Beautiful and innocent, the ones I loved to look at.

I never admitted to loving Lumine and his characteristics as much as I did now, but I was without him so long that everything flowed out of me. I admired him for some time, I spent months escaping danger with him and watching him be brave, how could I not? But now that he's just a ghost in front of me, I should have understood that I loved him sooner.

I broke down crying. I couldn't contain the hiccups and wails and buried my head in my blankets, in front of him. He didn't react or say a thing while I cried. It took me some time to calm down because every time I saw his blood-stained body, I couldn't help it.

After what felt like eternity, I felt so tired from crying. My eyes were pulsing and I could feel my heart slowing down. I fell back on my pillows and looked up at him. He looked down at me.

I couldn't tell if it really was him because he acted so...silent. It was really unlike him. I reached my hand up to caress his face.

"Are you real?"

I expected my hand to continue moving through his head but I was met with a force pushing me back. I was able to feel his face. His soft skin and his long wavy hairs. He cracked a smile and leaned into my hand.

I sat up and watched him close his eyes, shoving his cheek into my palm. I could see him breathing, his chest moved up very slowly and back down slower. I could see his hair bounce up at every breath. His pretty white eyelashes were still pretty.

He opened his eyes and leaned towards me. He wrapped his arms around my body and put his head in the crook of my neck. I hugged him back and I was finally able to feel his warmth.

Was it the touch that welcomed him back?

Was that all it took to make him feel alive?

We stayed like that for a while.