Chapter 18 Briella POV

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Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

I drive my car towards my apartment while my heart beats like fucking drums. I can't believe I just said that to Mister Walker. And he asked me to call him Samuel .. and I did. More than one time.

Okay it's fine Briella .. Briella calm down. It's fine.. calm down.

I take deep breaths before taking a right turn towards my apartment. My breathing clams down and cheeks slowly turn back to their normal light copper colour. I Look down at the steering wheel and close my eyes, feeling irritated that I'm feeling like this.

This is ridiculous. I hate it. Why does it feel different when I'm with him? It's stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

My shoulders start to shake as I realise that I'm letting my guard down with him. I cant do that. I promised myself that I wouldn't do that. At least not this easily. My eyes widen as I almost cross a red light. I push the pedal and the car comes to a stop, making me almost fling into the steering wheel if not for the seatbelt.

"... shit.. why is it always when I'm thinking about him that I fail to drive?"

I grumble annoyed and tap the steering wheel with my index finger as I wait for the light to turn green. I'm feeling really impatient since my day off was kinda ruined and I want to go back to my couch with food, TV and KoKo snuggled up to me. A small pout appears on my face as I think about my black cat KoKo. She must be all alone at my place and wondering where I am.

I turn on Bluetooth in my car and plug my phone into it. I know for a fact that there is one thing that might distract me before I arrive home to KoKo. And that is my beloved playlist of songs.

Hmm should I turn on the 80s-90s playlist or the musical one? Or maybe the rock one? You know what. I'll turn the random one on.

A small smile appears on my face when I turn it on and the song 'too sweet' by Hozier starts playing. I bob my head to the song and recall Jordan telling me that this is my theme song or me as a song or whatever. Jerk.

"~I take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at threeee... your tooo sweet for me your tooo sweeeet for meeeee.~"

I sing softly along to the song and start to drive the car as the light turns green. My nerves start to calm down as the melody and lyrics take me and consume me. I used to love singing in front of a crowd but now I can't even dream of it. Guess that comes with age. Getting your dreams and hopes crushed once you find out how dull and horrible the real words is.

Memories of my childhood flow back into my mind as I remember singing in front of my parents and sister. That is back then when they weren't divorced and were pretending to be happy. That is long gone and everything is strained. Mom and dad hate each other. Bridget refuses talk to dad since he 'hurt' mom but it's the other way around. Mom cheated on did but dad didn't want us to hate mom. Too late for me tho. I found out easily but Bridget refuses to believe that mom can do anything wrong.

I feel bad for Bridget. She has this image of mom and it's just wrong. Or maybe it is true but it's only shown to her since she is moms favourite. At least as I know from two of us. I don't know if she likes one of her step kids or other kids more than her.

I groan and massage my temples as I take a right turn. The song unfortunately ends before I can fully enjoy it. I didn't even listen to it since my mind was occupied with other stuff. The song 'cry baby' starts playing by Melanie Martinez which hits more than it should. My stomach starts to turn and grumble and I don't know if it's out of hunger or the memories.

More memories resurface which happens more than I would like it to happen but we can't have anything. I remember when I was 6 years old and my mom would scold me for crying and for being an ugly crier. That's so stupid. How can someone be mad at a child for crying and not looking like an adorable little girl?

After my parents announced that they were getting divorced. I cried till I fell asleep since I was afraid I wouldn't see my dad everyday. I didn't want to be separated from him but the stupid judge gave my mom full custody while my dad got us every weekend. Bridget never came with me since mom fed her lies about dad. I never belied mom since I know she lied but unfortunately Bridget did. She never visited dad and didn't came to his wedding when he remarried to Giselle while I was forced to attend both of moms weddings.

I wince as remember moms first wedding. I did not like the guy but who would listen to me? Absolutely fucking no one and it didn't even surprise me since mom always said that I hated her. Which is not partly a lie. I have loved dad more and was mostly on his side when mom cheated on him but I really started to hate her after she married .. him. Good I hated and still hate her first husband but her current husband is fine I guess. I don't have any relationship with him other than a 'i know him and I'll have a small talk with him but I don't know him' kind of relationship.

I don't want to remember him. I don't ever want to hear about him. I hate him for what he did to me and Bridget. For what he did to our family.

I snap out of it as I realise that is was on auto pilot and drove myself home without even realising it. I relax my shoulders as I put my car in my usual parking spot before getting out and making my way inside my apartment complex. After street hing my legs slightly, I bolt up the stairs to the fifth floor. I really couldn't wait to get home and to cuddle up with KoKo.

I Hope KoKo wasn't too bored without me. I should buy her some food tomorrow. Her favourite fish flavoured chewy sticks or whatever they are called and -

I come to a halt right in front of my door when I hear someone inside. I can't recognise the voice inside my apartment because of the shut door but alarms start to ring as I take out my gun and badge from my bag before sneakily opening the front door and making my way in. The voice and noise is coming from the kitchen which is kinda odd.

Why would a robber or a murderer be in my kitchen? Never mind. Stay focused Briella.

I hold my gun up and was about to speak when a familiar shriek can be heard from the kitchen. My focused expression immediately drops as I realise who it is. I out my gun and badge away and open the door to the kitchen with a bored expression.

"..."

"..."

"..."

".. hey Brie?"

I Look at the person in front of me with a blank expression as I cross my arms. The person in front of me is stuffing it's face with MY food while looking at with a surprised but nervous expression.

".. Jordan.. what the fuck are you doing here?"

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