camera girl {alex turner x femme reader}

alex x yn part 23

trigger warnings: alcohol and tobacco depictions

your hands slip with cold sweat as allen approaches you, his eyes burning into yours. he's wearing the same clothes as the last time you saw him, but he seems to have lost the rings.

he stops in front of the table, not being able to get any closer. you slowly get up and push the chair, walking in front of him.

his dark eyes don't blink as he stares at you as if analyzing you. his hands move up to touch your face, but he stops.

when you stay completely still he moves his hands and rests gently holds your chin in between his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up to look at him. he turns your head and looks at the cuts on your face, softly brushing the back of his free hand along them.

"i'm so sorry," his voice breaks in a whisper.

"we need to talk," you say. he presses his cracked lips together and nods, moving his hand down your shoulder and reaches for your hand, but you carefully turn and avoid it.

"let's go to your apartment," you continue. his eyes widen for a moment and he shakes his head, taking your hand and pulling you out through the back door.

cold air rushes against your face as you follow allen into the alleyway, just a few meters from the parking lot.

"i um," your words choke in your throat, "we aren't getting back together, i hope you know that."

his face is hard to read in the dark, and no emotion slips through. he drops your hand and swallows.

"i understand," he forces out. you chew the inside of your cheek in response, glancing over the the parking lot.

alex is still standing next to his car, his cigarette nearing its end. when you look back you catch allen almost rolling his eyes.

you look back at him and he breathes out a laugh, like he's not even gonna try to stop you.

a smile breaks out across your face and you run out of the alley, nearly slipping in a puddle as you run up to alex and wrap your arms around him.

he jumps at first but quickly returns your hug and drops his cigarette butt, stamping it out with his boot.

"thank you," you breath into his chest. after a few moments you look up at him, still holding yourself close against him. his face is wet, reflecting the orange streetlights.

you quickly pull away, still holding his forearms.

"oh alex, why are you crying," you ask as you reach up and wipe the tears off of his face with your hand.

"i don't actually know," he replies with a forced laugh to hide the cracks in his voice.

"that's okay," you whisper, "you don't need a reason."

"go inside, you're gonna freeze out here."

"i have a hoodie."

"did you talk to him?"

you don't want to say anything, fear of making his eyes well up again and pour out his emotions that he usually hides so well.

"yes. he's sorry, but we aren't getting back together and i think he understands it now. i guess our relationship was something forced, it wasn't gonna abide to our lives," you say and pull away from him, stepping to his side and leaning against his car, just as he was.

"that's good," he mumbles and brings his hands to his head, pushing back his loose hairs.

the cold metal seeps through your jean shorts, forcing you to subconsciously shiver.

"c'mon go inside," he says with a tone that tells you he's not taking argument on the matter anymore.

"i just feel like if i try to lay in bed or sit in an empty apartment, i'm gonna venture too deep into thought and i'll end up having some weird mental breakdown," you groan.

he looks at you and his eyes flitter with conflict. then, he says, "i know, but you'll be fine. i c-call me if you want me."

you nod and hoist yourself off of the car, standing in front of him once again. your shadow breaks the stream of light on his face and covers the bottom half, leaving only the warmth in his dark eyes distinguishable.

"goodnight," you mutter. he reaches out to you and puts his hand behind your neck and hair, pulling you in. his lips press against your forehead for a few moments.

"night," he whispers against your hair.

you squint your eyes closed, knowing allen is likely still watching from the alleyway. his hand is warm against the cool air as you squeeze it once and let go.

his eyes follow you as you reluctantly walk away and into the apartment lobby. it's mostly cleared out now, a small group of people still huddled around a coffee table playing cards.

it's silent as you ride the elevator back up to your floor, and as you walk through the hallway to your room. there's no sound but the thumping of your risen heartbeat and your mind, screaming in circles.