Don't Let Go

Salt in the Wound

CORDELIA POV

We spent a couple hours watching various home improvement shows while asking random questions whenever they crossed our minds.  Neither of us liked closed off spaces and agreed a home needs to have an open concept to be acceptable.  Elliot loved the idea of having his own sauna and hot tub while I preferred a heated pool.

I wanted to drown out reality with good wine and better food. I wanted to forget about how the boy who said he'd love me longer than forever as a ploy to take my virginity had set me up to be kidnapped for God knows what reason.

Money.  That was the most likely reason. Lewis' Dad was awful with investing in junky NFT's and crypto so Lewis did the same thing. He bragged about how much GameStop stock he had until it tanked and he realized it was worthless.

Last time there was a threat, Lewis and I went to the safe house. We were only there for 2 days and I had a bit of warning. My bag had school work, my regular laptop, and a couple extra books which helped the time go faster.  Janet even packed us some leftovers which made meals easier to put together and homemade.

We smoked our fair share of joints and mostly just relaxed while watching movies on my laptop.

When you can't use social media or an Amazon account with all your Kindle library that limits the options but plenty of good food plus marijuana helped that time.

Now, though, I felt like nothing we did would help me feel safe. I was back to being a caged bird, trapped in my tower hoping that one day I would have the chance to feel the freedom I always dreamed of experiencing.

Once we finished the bottle of wine I decided to head to bed. There was nothing else to do aside from watching TV.

Well... there was plenty my tipsy brain wanted me to do, especially now that Elliot and I were so much more comfortable with one another, but that would be a super bad idea.

Time next to Elliot when everything was murky did not help me stay on the straight and narrow. It's clear we care about one another but I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I needed to step back from our connection for a bit just so I could get more perspective.

Being in forced proximity was making my emotions take over.

You have to keep feelings out of the equation when security is involved. Aidan may see me as a daughter since he has been friends with my Dad for longer than I have been alive but that only made him train me harder.

"Cordy?" Elliot's voice was quiet as I curled up in bed after taking some Benadryl.

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

I paused, not sure how to answer. After flipping over to face him while hugging a pillow I shrugged, "Anxious. Not really sure what to do, considering the circumstances we are in.  It's like being trapped but somewhere that's not home."

"Being trapped in your Turret would be sick," Elliot agreed with a nod.

He moved closer and sat on his side of the bed, forcing me to adjust to his presence.

Maybe we need 2 rooms. I can't keep him at arms length.

Then again, I drank a lot tonight and that always makes me waffle on my feelings.

Elliot let out a long sigh then slipped under the covers and faced me. "We will figure this out, okay? I'm here to protect you but also want to make sure we keep one another calm. Neither of us can see what is going on if we are distracted."

I looked into his eyes and nodded while a yawn escaped. "For the moment we can just do what is best day by day. Get lots of rest, work out, keep in contact with home, and try to keep from freaking out at how dangerous this is getting."