Checkmate

14. Love Is Sacrifice

All the boys were asleep, or so I thought once I returned to camp. The moment I sat on my bed, a sharp tapping I knew to be Felix pulled me out of my thoughts. I felt myself smile happily and bounded to the door and straight out, Felix hot on my heels. We raced to the treehouse, thankful that I could remember the way.

Once inside, we wasted no time, and instantly his mouth was on mine. My hands found their way into his mess of hair, pulling him closer. I became lost in the feel of him before a thought occurred to me. "Wait." I gasped, allowing him to move away first. "I have to tell you-"

"Pan kissed you. I know, he's done it a lot."

"You know?" I gasped, pushing him back slightly to look at his face better. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you kiss him to butter him up and to protect the boys."

"Right."

"You kiss me because you want to."

He smirked, causing me to smirk with him. "You know it's an act?"

"It's always been an act." He admitted. "Me attempting to kill you was supposed to be an act, but the way you defended yourself was not."

"So, you never hated me?"

Felix smiled warmly and gently tucked a piece of my hair behind my right ear. "I thought you beautiful the moment I first laid eyes on you."

"And when did you realise you loved me?" Felix paused and blushed slightly. "You aren't denying it."

He shook his head. "The moment you collapsed into my arms on the ship." I felt my head tilt as my amusement faded. "I watched your blood soak your clothes and your head drop to my chest. I refused to let anyone else touch you, choosing to carry you back to the cabin myself. I would have stayed with you, had Pan allowed it."

"Felix." I heard myself whisper, but still he continued.

"I decided as you lay potentially dying that I loved you, and would always love you, even if you never loved me back."

"I do love you." I admitted, swallowing the "but" that threatened to follow.

His eyes became watery and his smile widened. "Really?"

I did. Honestly I did, but there was something niggling in the back of my mind, a thought or a feeling that wouldn't go away. Attempting to quash the feeling, I thought of the only thing I could do to choose the boy before me. "Let me prove it." I whispered, pulling his lips to mine once again.

Felix was my first kiss and in that moment, I was sure he was also my first love. At least, I wanted him to be. 

A lot of fumbling and a lot of giggling led to more kisses as together we led on the floor of the fairy's hut, surrounded by dust and our assorted weapons, gasping for air in each other's arms between kisses. After a moment of silent staring, Felix tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear and kissed me softly. He rested his forehead on mine and laughed to himself.

I felt myself smile at his contagious laughter. "What's so funny?"

His eyes locked on mine and, smiling sadly, his finger traced my hairline down to my chin. "As much as I wish I could, I can't keep you."

"Of course you can." He shook his head. "We can keep meeting in secret."

"No, you have to keep Pan happy. We can't do this. You have to choose Pan."

"But... I don't want to." We kissed again, but the happiness from my declaration was short-lived.

He pulled away from me slowly, his eyes scanning my face as if memorising every imperfection. "I would do anything for you Annie, I would die for you, grow old for you."