19: Cub

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Pain.

And a bright light immediately above me.

They're the first things when I wake up. I squint, trying to look around. 

'You should stay still.'

Jevin. He's sat next to me, exhausted, blue hair tangled. 

'Where- where are...'

'The Listeners.'

'What?'

'It was the only choice. I'd been messaging since the crash at Southern Tower. They gave me the address of a safe house.'

'Safe house?'

'Oh! You're awake!'

A black haired woman enters, followed by a tall guy half-made of metal, including goat horns and legs. 

'Who...'

'I'm Shubble, medic. Doc does prosthetics.'

'Prosthetics?' My probably-drugged brain doesn't comprehend. Until I notice my left hand.

It's metal.

'It was the only option.'

I can't breathe, staring at what used to be my hand as Shubble continues.

'You also broke a leg and a couple ribs... oh, and burns from the plane setting on fire.'

'I think- I think I'm gonna pass...'

I faint.


2 months pass. Jevin becomes a Listener, but my life just gets worse. I start having nightmares. I'm no longer bed-ridden and Doc's shown how my prosthetic hand works, but I'm under house arrest for being a Hawk. The only way out is a meeting with safety manager Gem.

'Right,' she says, entering my room in Shubble's house one day. 'You are...?'

'Cubfan Vex,' I reply.

'And you're a Hawk Officer?'

'Yes.'

'You're STILL a Hawk Officer?'

I don't reply. Throughout my recovery, I've avoided thinking about the Hawks. Elex crashed a plane into my house. He thinks I'm dead. I'll just put myself and my friends in danger if I reveal I'm not. But I miss flying, and Hypno and False, and even training. I miss getting to save lives, and cameoing in stupid films. 

'Cubfan, I need an answer. Are you still a Hawk Officer?'

'I... I guess not.'

'You 'guess not'? You're still one of them?'

'We're not all bad people.'

Gem sighs, sitting.

'I won't let you in if I can't trust you.'

I don't reply, as much as Gem expects me to.

'What happened?' She asks eventually. 'To end up here?'

'I got suspicious of the crash in Southern Tower and accidentally eavesdropped a meeting where Captain Elex said it was intentional. So he crashing a plane into my home. To get rid of me.'

'And you don't know if you still have loyalty to the Hawks?' There's disbelief in Gem's voice. 'After they destroyed your home and tried to kill you?' 

'I've been a Hawk for over 10 years. I'm not just losing loyalty because of one bad leader. The rest of us are good people.'

'Are you not just saying this to justify not realising what was going on sooner?'

'No.'

'You're not projecting your own guilt about being part of this organisation into blame for someone else? We won't blame or judge you for your past, Cubfan. And if you cut ties and loyalty with the Hawks, we will allow you to become a Listener.'

'The Hawks aren't bad. Elex is,' I repeat, firmer. 'Elex is the bad one.'

'Then I'm very sorry, Cubfan. I cannot accept you into the Listeners, or staying within this property.'

'What?' My blood turns cold at the thought of living on the streets.

'This isn't your home. You can find Elex. See if he can get you a new home, or if he shoots you on the spot.'

'That's not fair! I-'

'OR.' Gem cuts through my protest. 'I have a proposal.'

I don't reply.  

'We give you free, protected housing and food. You'll have to be guarded for communication with Watchers, including on your holo-screen, and only allowed to go out accompanied.'

'So... you're putting me under house arrest?'

'If you remain loyal to Watchers, we must have precautions. And while you're here, you will assist our mission against the Hawks however we tell you to.'

'Why would I do that?' 

Gem sighs.

'You get free safety, food, and shelter. You're a political target. You have no other options, Cubfan.' I try to prove her wrong, but can't. This is the only way I can survive. 

'Fine. I accept the deal.'


(Now)

Jevin's waiting for me outside the interrogation room. And the moment he sees me, he knows it didn't go to plan.

'Tough interrogation?'

I nod, still thinking about Scar, who's still just staring at the ground, silent. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head.

'So... what should our next move should be. Did he tell you much of use?'

The interrogation was supposed to get information from him that could help us. Well, he certainly gave us information. And all it told us is that we chose a very bad Hawk to take prisoner. No normal Fledgling knows that many people. We've aggravated Elex enough already recently without taking his favourite.

The only other option we have is teaching him about how bad the Hawks really are until decides to join our side. But I know it won't work. And seeing him still staring, shellshocked, at the floor, already so far removed from talking with such confidence in his loyalty towards the Hawks... I can't break his poor heart and mind with the truth.

'Tell Gem to let him go.' 

Jevin's eyes widen.

'What?'

'You heard what I said. Let him go.'

'Why?'

'He said he's messaging Xisuma.'

'He's bluffing. You know Elex doesn't care about Hawks' safety.' The scars on my neck prickle at the thought.

'It's still enough of an excuse for him to hunt us down.'

'I know you and Elex have... history. But you can't just let a prisoner go because you're scared at him. We keep him here and make him like us.'

'It won't work, Jevin. We can't make someone change their minds. Especially not a Hawk Fledgling. You know that won't work. He doesn't deserve to have his world-view shattered.'

'That's the entire reason you went in there, Cub. To make him cooperate.'

'Ok. Let's, hypothetically, do what you said. We keep him here under house arrest and Elex doesn't care, or thinks he's already dead. We're not going to convince Scar of anything. We'll try, but he'll just want to escape more and more until he finally does. He'll gets back to the Hawk base, expecting celebration, and he'll be imprisoned and tortured for abandonment.' Tears run down my face at the memories. 'I'm not letting Elex hurt him. We let him go, we make it clear it's us letting him go, and he'll be fine. Another stupid Hawk can grow up in blissful ignorance of what that f***er Elex is doing. That's my final decision.'

And I walk away.


I spent too long working on this chapter and still don't like how I've written the last bit but NEVER MIND.

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