The Lego Movie (Genderbend Insert)

Vitruvius Dies

Vitruvius turns as Emily, Lucy, Batman, Benny and Metal Beard are brought in.

Emily Brickowski: "Sorry."

Lord Business: "Acceptable work, Bad Cop."

Bad Cop: "Thank you, sir."

Lord Business: "Robots, destroy this old man at once."

Vitruvius: "Did you just call me old?"

Lord Business: "Yeah. So what?"

Vitruvius: "Well, Junebug, I really prefer the word 'experienced!'"

Vitruvius starts attacking the robots and manages to knock all of them out, all the captive Master Builders cheer for him.

Vitruvius: "Ha-ha! You see, my dear. A corrupted spirit is no match for the purity of imagina..."

Lord Business suddenly pops his head off with a 2007 nickel, the master builders gasp as Emily, Lucy, Batman, Benny, Unikitty, and Metalbeard also gasp.

Emily Brickowski: "*tears peaking in her eyes* Vitruvius! No!"

Vitruvius's decapitated head rolls over towards her.

Emily Brickowski: "Vitruvius..."

Vitruvius's eyes open and looks at Emily as he dies.

Vitruvius: "My sweet, Emily, come closer. You must know something about the prophecy."

Emily Brickowski: "I know, I'm doing my best. But I-I don't...I don't..."

Vitruvius: "The prophecy...I made it up."

Emily Brickowski: "What...?"

Vitruvius: "I made it up. It's not true."

Emily Brickowski: "But that means I'm just...I'm not the Special?"

Vitruvius: "You must listen. What I'm about to tell you will change the course of history..."

Just as he's about to speak, the light in Vitruvius's eyes goes out and he dies.

Emily Brickowski: "*tears falling from her eyes* No...! No!"

The group looks visibly sad as they are led away by the robots.

Lord Business: "Hey, not so special anymore, huh?"

The robots strap each of the group into one of the Think Tank seats.

Lord Business: "Well, guess what? No one ever told me I was special. I never got a trophy just for showing up! I'm not some special little snowflake."

The micro-manager robot picks up Emily and straps her onto a battery.

Lord Business: "Robots, bring me the Sword of Exact-Zero!"

Robots: "Yes, Lord Business."

The robots hand Lord Business an Xacto razor and he walks over to Emily.

Lord. Business: "Must be weird, one minute you're the most special person in the universe. The next minute, you're nobody! *uses the razor to cut the Piece of Resistance from Emily's back* Oh, I have a nice spot for this in my relic room. *throws the Piece of Resistance out the window* Uh-oh, my mistake! There it goes!"

Lucy: "No!"

Lord Business: "Bye-bye, forever!"

The Piece of Resistance falls into the abyss.

Lord Business: "Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do! *turns to his robots* Release the Kragle! Computer?"

Computer: "Yes, sir."

Lord Business: "Set the electric shocker to one hundred Mississippi."

Computer: "No problem."

Lord Business: "Then terminate everyone."

Computer: "Already on it."

Lord Business: "Emily, that should give you enough time to witness the first location to be Kragled. Your home town!"

Emily Brickowski: "No!"

Lord Business gets onto the Kragle device.

Lord Business: "Bad Cop, unfortunately I'm gonna have to leave you here to die."

Bad Cop: "What? *suddenly surrounded by robots]*Sir, I..."

Lord Business: "It's not personal, it's just business. Lord Business. Ciao!"

The Kragle device shoot up to the top of the ceiling disappearing with Lord Business, then the computer starts counting down.

Computer: "Beginning zapping termination in ninety-nine Mississippi, ninety-eight Mississippi, ninety- seven Mississippi, and so on."