Amaira Singhania is average in any sense that counts. Be it grades , beauty , friends, family , anything. Her eyes does not shine , her face does not glow , she doesn't get straight A's, she doesn't have an extraordinary talent and her love life is...
"Sometimes , the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
A B H I M A N Y U
15th April , 2024
When I was a child , I discovered a rather disheartening truth about the world. It is a rough place to live in. It's not always sunshine and flowers and rainbows. It's the exact opposite. People are not what they seem like on the outside and nobody cares for anybody in reality. We may think we mean something to a person but really , we don't. Everyone is far too busy in their own lives to care about anyone else. And that's okay. Selfish, but who am I to judge? I am one of those too. Who doesn't care about anyone but myself.
But if I am being completely honest , lately. . .
I don't even care about myself anymore.
Should I call myself selfish or just simply apathetic then?
I don't know.
Because if I am apathetic, then why do I still care about my mom?
Why does her death still stings so bad? It's been twenty three years , then why do I still miss her?
If I claim to be selfish, would it be a lie?
I don't know that either.
I always think about things others don't. Like how amazing it would be if I just died that day instead of mom. Like how my father won't despise me. Like how my brother would still have a mother to talk to.
But then again , I can't change anything now. Maybe it was just meant to happen this way , that's what I tell myself everyday. It was just fate.
Or destiny , as some call it.
Whatever it is though ,I have to tell you , it really fucking sucks.
I almost tear the page down but instead take a deep breath and closed my diary. Throwing the pen somewhere on my table , I stuff the light blue diary in my bag and zip it up with an unnecessarily strong force.
***
I lightly hum the lyrics of the song I was listening to.
"चाँद सिफ़ारिश जो करता हमारी देता वो तुमको बता शर्म-ओ-हया पे परदे गिरा के करनी है हमको खता-"
