The Heart of Shadow and Gold

Chapter 29

Leyla's POV:

I sat in the office chair that I have been in for the past hour or so, I was watching a video, the video of Callie's escapade with some junior recruits such as herself. Callie was to lead it, to convince Ashley to get her back but that hasn't gone as plan.

she doesn't want back. she doesn't want you. I thought, but quickly shook that out of my head.

I picked up my green tea and sipped the warm liquid. I take a deep breath and set it back down on the table.

what to do, what to do, what to-

"Leyla? are you in here?" a familiar voice calls out. I turn my head and my mother stands there in the doorway, hair long, wavy, and blonde very much like my own. her dark blue eyes look concerned as she meets my light blue ones.

"sweetie, sit up that is not very good for your back." she scolds lightly, she walks over to me and gets on one knee to hug me.

I embrace her tightly as I hold in tears.

"I know sweetie, I know." she whispered.

"I miss her, I don't know what to do, it hurts mom." I cried silently.

"unfortunately that will happen many times in life, but obviously she wasn't the best person there for you. but hey, there plenty more chances and you will find the right person for you."

"your talking as if I don't have any friends." I laugh with little emotion.

"what I'm saying is that don't chase someone that doesn't want to be chased, don't make it a fox hunt, because that only ends with a dead rabbit." she said looking in my eyes.

"okay, but what do I do?"i ask genuinely confused.

"focus on what's best for your friends and family, what they need and want. that is where you start."

she kisses my forehead, "I love you and I am very proud of you, don't ever forget that, ok sweetie?"

I smile and respond, "I promise mom, I love you too."

she stands up and walks to the door, "good." and then she turned the corner and left.

I shut my eyes and slump in my chair, ignoring my moms scolding.

think happy thoughts. anything but her.

and I tried, I really did. I remembered me and Della going to the sandwhich shop, when I saw how good the food looked, but then in the memory as I imagined della's face and flashed in and out of her face beneath the sign. her cheeks sunken and her eyes wide, void of emotion.

I open my eyes and take my glasses off to rub them.

I look at my glasses, with the golden edges on the top. I fiddle with the edges of them and then take my shirt to clean them.

I can do this. just think what's best for the country, and if Ashley ends up in the way, I'll just have to simply remove her from the plan.

I put my glasses on my face  and readjusting my hair so it wasn't caught in the ends of it and pulled my self up, stumbling a little.

one foot after another I reach the exit of the room and I walk over to the kitchen to get some food.

after a while of overhearing Marie Mancini, the head chef, bark out orders to her assistants, she came to greet me at the window.

"Leyla! oh, its lovely to see you again, your just in time. I just finished cooking up some fresh mashed potatoes." she spoke in her accent.

I smile tightly and speak "do you mind if I talk to you for a while?"

she looks at me with sadness and nods in understanding, "of course dear, I will be right there, go find yourself a seat." she turns into the kitchen to repeat her orders to the other cooks.

I walk over to the nearest table which had 4 seats and took my seat at one and waited.

my eyes drifted over the surrounding tables of conversing guards, juniors, recruits, trainee's, or whoever else may be here.

I felt like throwing up and breaking down at the same time but I kept a straight neutral face, and an occasional tight smile.

after what seemed forever, Marie came out the door of the kitchen and sat opposite of me, "alright, I'm good." she passed me a serving and put one in front of herself to slowly eat as she looked at me waiting.

I look her in the eyes and put my hands together in front of me, forcing myself not to fidget as I speak.

"I sent a group of trainee's to safely bring Ashley back." I start.

"and, I'm guessing it didn't succeed." she guesses.

"she didn't want to come back. she chose to stay." I speak, I'm not in favour of repeating the same mother daughter scene we had, but I feel as though she should know about her decision, and that she wont come back willingly, knowing how close they were.

she nods with a sigh, "well, that is her decision. and we must respect that." her eyes look sad but not surprised.

"I'm truly sorry, I know how close you two were." I say formally, I start to feel sad but I remember why I was talking with her in the first place.

this woman in front of me has been working here for years, alongside guards for almost 10 years, if anyone has advice about making a difference around her, an improvement, its her.

"Marie, how do we approach this? how are we supposed to guarantee us a win? you know the people here better than anyone, what do I do?"

she squints her brown eyes, her eyelashes frozen in concentration. "depends on who your talking about I guess." she says, then she gets up and pulls her chair to sit beside me, she puts one arm around my shoulders and her other hand pointed at a group of 3 chatting from afar.

"those 3, those are probably the grounds best agility-wise, they can dodge blades and limbs and nets with ease." she pauses, and lets her arm rest. "but they aren't as skilled at single combat, more for distractions." she looks around the room.

"see that female?" she points to a female with long black hair cut neatly sitting alone with her drink.

"she is the best of her age at accuracy, she sits back and scouts for danger up ahead. but her weakness is looking if she is the one in danger."

she continues pointing out guards of various strengths and weaknesses from various ages.

"that guy over there, our top attacker, very nimble for running through a battle and getting straight to the goal, and has enough strength to push through people who get in his way. although, his weakness is he's hot-headed and sometimes lets his ego get to his head."

I try my best to remember all it, but honestly I don't even think Ashley could, and she's the best analyzer I know.

knew. my brain corrected, I don't know her, I knew her. I knew who she was, but don't know her now.

"what are you getting too? if you don't mind me interrupting." I cut in.

she looks at me, still one arm wrapped around me.

"get to know your fellow guards, know how they fight, their style, their preferences, their comfortability. if you get that done, then your one step closer to beating your opponents, especially if Chen is trusting you to run missions, and the more you earn this position, the more he'll trust you to run."  she smiles, and I cant help but smile too.

"okay, thank you Marie." I say.

she wraps her other arm around me, "your going to be great Tesoro" "I know you will, they always are."

A/N 1328 words