damnation - r.j.lupin

promising the impossible

She sits up suddenly when the bedroom door opens, then lies back down, sighing when she sees Remus close it behind him. He sits on the bed and she has to close her eyes to try to calm her heart which is racing knowing him so close to her. She hates the fact that his mere presence makes her physically weak.

"I managed to convince them," Remus begins, his eyes on the ground. "You can go see Mona and her daughter."

Olivia suddenly stands up and folds her legs and wraps her arms around them. She is about to answer but Remus beats her to it.

"At one condition."

"What ?"

"I have to come with you."

Olivia frowns. The idea of ​​finding herself alone with him outside this house which has become, over the last two months, like a protection for her, makes her heart skip a beat.

"Why?"

"I do not discuss the conditions of the Order," he begins after sighing. "They think it's too dangerous to let you go outside alone."

She scoffs. "Just say they don't trust me."

"They trust you. They just don't trust your friend."

She rolls her eyes and ends up sitting next to him. Their arms brush against each other and the two look down at their feet, as if afraid of what would happen if their eyes ended up meeting.

"Thank you," Olivia almost whispers.

Remus looks back up her legs and his eyes stop on her hand, placed next to her thigh. He must overcome his internal battle that screams for him to interlace his fingers in hers and kiss her hand. He takes one last deep breath, getting intoxicated with the smell of vanilla before getting up and walking to the door.

"We're leaving tomorrow morning," are the last words he says before gently closing the door.

Olivia's head falls onto the cushion and even knowing that she will be able to see Mona tomorrow, she can't get to sleep, her mind far too busy fighting against her urge to run after Remus and put down her lips against his, and she hates herself for thinking about this while her best friend is in deep danger.

☆☾

Remus can't stop a grin from gracing his lips when he sees Olivia wearing his jacket. He remembers the evening by the lake, the two of them lulled by the wind and guarded by the thousands of stars, the way the taste of her lips is still inked in his and her almost arrogant gait, with his jacket on her shoulders, leaving bare only her long, thin legs that he loves so much.

"Ready?"

Olivia lifts her head and nods, letting Remus walk past her. The cool autumn wind whips her face and she inhales deeply; she had almost forgotten the feeling.

Olivia's apartment was only a few blocks from 12 Grimmauld Place. She tries as best she can to follow the rhythm of Remus, who rushes, hands in his coat. Images of the evening in London after his concert come back to her mind and her body instantly tenses.

No one is speaking. The atmosphere is heavy and despite the crowded streets of London, Olivia feels more alone than ever without Remus' gaze. When she sees her building, she hurries on.

"It's here," she grabs the door key and tries not to look at the front of her bookstore, too afraid to face her old life. It's her past now.

Once in front of the apartment door, she stops. She can feel Remus' presence, the warmth emanating from his body behind her, his long face looming over her. Her hand trembles and she can't bring herself to insert it into the lock and turn it.