damnation - r.j.lupin

the sweetness of a summer kiss

505 - arctic monkeys

☆☾

Tonks sits on the old leather sofa and crosses her arms, nervous. She looks around the living room of Remus' little house and can't stop her heart from sinking.

Cups of tea are piled on the table, the floor is littered with copies of the Daily Prophet and books, and a dozen letters are piled up in front of his front door, still unopened, and Tonks wonders how it still stands.

There was a time when the purple-haired witch dreamed of being alone with him in his little country house. Today, just the sight of the latter hurts her heart.

His house breathes pain and sadness. Just like him.

One detail, however, catches her attention. The only letters that have been opened and are neatly placed on the coffee table next to the couch are Olivia's.

She narrows her eyes, breathes hard and focuses her gaze on something else. No member of the Order has seen Remus since the battle at the Ministry. It's been more than a month.

Remus appears with two cups of tea which he places on the coffee table, quickly apologizing for the mess. He didn't look her once in the eye. Tonks examines his features. She has never seen him so tired and out of phase. Even around a full moon.

He runs a tired hand over his face and downs his tea in one gulp.

"How are you feeling ?" Tonks asks, breaking the silence which is becoming heavy.

The only response is that Remus chuckles nervously before raising his eyebrows.

"Sorry, that was a stupid question," the witch catches herself before grabbing her cup and taking a sip.

"Where is Harry?" Remus asks. His voice seems to hang by a thread.

"At the Burrow for two weeks. Dumbledor took him."

He nods. He runs a hand through his hair, opens his mouth then closes it, not sure if he can ask Tonks this question.

But the witch understood.

"Olivia is holding up. She spent the summer at the Weasleys too."

Tonks swears she sees his shoulders drop in relief and a sigh escapes his lips.

"You could have answered, you know," she adds, without reproach. "We were all worried to death."

Remus would like to tell her that since the death of his last best friend, he has not had the strength to do anything, barely to breathe. That he has once again lost a part of himself by losing Sirius and that the fear of not remembering anything is eating him up.

He would like to tell her that the only thing that keeps him from sinking is knowing a certain brunette might be waiting for him, outside.

"Sorry, I needed some time I guess."

Tonks puts the cup down and stands up before heading towards the front door.

"We need you now, Remus," she says, hand on the handle. "She needs you."

Once the door is slammed, Remus grabs his head in his hands and bites his lip to stop the tears from clouding his eyes again. He grabs the few letters placed on the small table and Olivia's perfect calligraphy calms him.

He never responded to any of her letters. Anyone letters actually. And yet, she was the only one who never stopped sending them. Excerpts from novels, poems, film lines. He got into the habit of rereading them every night. Those were the only things that managed to bring a smile to his face.