MELTING A FROZEN HEART

Chapter 34

What caught my attention was not her success, but her despair.

How did she survive?

How is she moving ahead?

Is she not depressed?

How has she not given up?

What keeps her going?

Questions filled my mind, making me uncontrollably curious.

My mother survived a suicide attempt and worked on overcoming it with the help of her husband, kids and sister.

But, how did Raelynn Baker survive those haunting impulses all alone?

I could only imagine the heights of her strength.

"Wow."

That was the comment that slipped my lips as my eyes intently stared into her file.

"An amazing woman."

I had thought back then and I now know for sure that she indeed is amazing.

It was then that I let every disrespect of hers towards me slide.

She had every reason to be doubtful and edgy around me.

It was at that moment, for some reason, I wanted to protect her.

Why?

I had no certain reason. Maybe because I wanted to prevent her from getting dragged into a hell she had so ardently fought against and rose up.

But, as time went by and I started knowing her intimately, realizing how generous and kind a person she is up close, my admiration only grew.

Little by little, without my own knowledge, I enjoyed her company, her arguments, her stubbornness, her concern, her thoughtfulness, her principles, her intelligence, her courage and her care.

And with every step I grew closer to her, the rage in me grew exponentially at every bast*rd that hurt her, touched her or even looked at her wrong.

I led the raid that had killed every man in the warehouse that run the underground broth*l she was trapped in. It had been one of the regular attacks of eliminating the rebellions, but I wish I had not killed them off so easily. The urges in me want to kill them a million times over, unimaginably brutally.

The past, however, cannot be changed.

I can only control the present.

For better or for worse, I'm relieved that Ren now knows that I'm aware of her deepest secret.

It's because she indifferently asked me to leave that I have realized how far my emotions have come for her.

I'm not sure what these feelings should be termed as, but I'm certainly sure that I need Raelynn by my side. Always.

"Why are you glaring at the window?", Aurelio's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I turned around and looked at him calmly.

He leisurely sat on the sofa and looked me in the eyes.

"Nonna told me you refused to meet Milena. She's upset about it.", he said casually.

I did not say anything to that.

"Why don't you want to meet her?", Aurelio asked, getting serious.

Raelynn.

That's my answer.

However, I didn't say it out loud.

This time, regarding these emotions, I want Ren to know first.