All My Life// Sebastian Sallow

1- Get Up

6 months ahead from where my story starts

"She's...dead," I rasped.

Everything was frozen, the birds no longer seemed to sing and my tears, which had been falling like a waterfall, seemed frozen on my cheeks. I could hardly breath, hardly lift a finger as I took in the scene unfolding in front of my eyes.

My insides were burning, pain swirling and nearly blacking out my vision as black and red swirls seemed to be radiating off of me and into the air. No one noticed. Frozen in time with me, all four pairs of eyes were on the small broken body lying on the ground in front of us.

All of it for nothing.

My mind flickered to that day, those weeks, months after, that I thought could solve all the problems. That should have solved this.

_______________________________________

Where We Start: The day of the repository battle

"What are you going to do, knowing what the Keepers have shown you?" Professor Fig asked, watching me with those careful blue eyes. I saw the hope in them and something else, something like regret swirling in those blue depths.

I hesitated as all the options swirled in my mind. I knew the right thing to do would be to leave the repository where it was with the people I trusted the most. What Isidora went through, what she unleashed should not be let out again, it was too dangerous in the wrong hands and what made my hands the right ones? What made me capable of doing the right thing once I absorbed it? I could hear the pain and suffering calling to me. Screaming my name.

Begging me.

Then I saw his face, his chocolate eyes filled with pain and hopelessness the second Solomon hit the ground and Anne left him and everything seemed to still. This was his only chance to save her. 

I was his only chance. 

If I didn't try.....he would destroy himself with grief and I felt my heart tighten in my chest so hard that I could barely breath. I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't let his hope die because if it died, surely he would too.

"I'm going to wield it," I heard my voice say. It was like I was in a dream like stance, I wanted to change the words I was telling Fig the moment I saw the fear and disappointment in his eyes, but I couldn't. My body had made it's mind up for me. My voice was arguing with Fig, back and forth, reasoning expertly but it was as if I was watching it from afar with no control over anything.

I'm sorry, I kept thinking in my head even though my words didn't match. I hoped the pain in my eyes did and judging by how long he stared back I'm certain he saw it.

What happened after with Ranrok was a blur. There was fighting, injured ribs and legs, a dead goblin, and a blood curling scream when I finally saw Fig's nearly lifeless body. But no one heard me and if they did, they were surely still busy with the other loyalists. No, I remember holding his head in my lap as the tears rushed down my cheeks feeling my heart shatter as I handed him Miriam's wand and watched as he faded from me. 

His last words were telling me how proud he was, even when I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life while I watched one of the most important people leave it. He was more than my mentor, he just was. 

"Get up Jo," I whimpered as I slowly put him down. "Save another."

I don't know how long I was down there, or how long I held Fig. I don't think time existed anymore as I stared at the repository and envisioned those chocolate eyes staring back at me. I had to save him by saving her first and this was my only chance. With a deep breath, I started to absorb it, inhaling bits and pieces and feeling all that pain and suffering enter my body.