Primal Lurk

Lexi

"You're going where!" Kaia yelled after I told her what my plans for today were.

"Look, it's not as bad as it seems." That was a lie, there was no way she would believe that.

"Not as bad as it seems? Are you fucking kidding me, Lex? He saw right into your innocence and dragged it down a dirt fucking road, and you're telling me it isn't bad? What the hell did he say to you last night to make you think that? Because from what I know of last night, you took off without me with you. And there's only one reason you'd have done that, and to say you left Mr asshat behind, it isn't good."

I knew she wouldn't take it lightly. And it's not like I could lie to her about it, because I had a sneaking suspicion that someone would tell her where I would be, because even though I didn't want her to, Kaia brought a certain band mate back home with her last night, and if I lied now, I'd be in more shit than I intended to be.

"Look, we ended it on bad terms last night, yes. But I'd had a drink and maybe I took things too personally. He called me when I got home and by then I'd managed to calm down a little bit." As I was talking, Austin made his way out of Kaia's room, his eyes trained on me, a small curve on his lips, showing he knew exactly what happened and that I was doing everything to make Kaia go along with it. Something I feel like he was about to help with considering his convenient timing.

I shook my head, taking my thought away from Austin and focusing back on Kaia. "At the end of it all, maybe I overreacted with everything, you know I have a tendency to do that. And even you said maybe I thought too much into it."

"Yeah, right before you told me he took a video of you without telling you! You have no idea what he's done with that Lexi." She crossed her arms, and I could tell she was holding in more anger than she was letting out.

"He deleted it. He showed me his phone. Nothing in his recents and nothing in deleted. It's gone, Kaia." I looked at Austin, hoping that if he was going to butt in at any point, it would be now.

"Oh, and you know he doesn't have it saved anywhere else, do you?"

"He doesn't." Austin chimed in as he began making a pot of coffee. "He deleted it, completely. Trust me, Kaia." He walked over to her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"You know about it?" Kaia asked.

"Of course, I know about it. He told us what he did on the night he did it and we all gave him shit for it. He said he thought he was doing it for good reason and that he was trying to help Lexi out, and yes, I know that's fucked up, but it wasn't for anyone else's eyes." Austin tried his best form of defence, but even I felt the anger surge through me from him saying he knew about it.

"Trying to help her out? In what possible fucking way could that have helped her out? She didn't consent to it happening. He took advantage of her, and he knows it." Kaia looked like she was ready to kill someone, and from the way she was looking at Austin, he was possibly the culprit.

"Look, from what I know, he said the helping her out thing was something Lexi knew about."

"Not until after he took the damn thing." I said.

"I know. But he didn't go into detail with that with us, just that you knew the reason. And he did it because he said you made him feel different, Lexi. That you had something about you which sparked an interest in him that he'd never had with a girl before. I know you don't want to hear someone defend him right now, I'm very much aware of that. But he didn't expect to have anyone else in his life after he met you, Lexi. He said it was like you were someone he was meant to meet. Almost like you were another half that made his side understand his reason. But yes, he deleted it, we made him."

I felt my eyebrows knot together again. He said that? Why didn't he mention anything like that to me last night? Or did I just not give him the chance to? Or, is Austin sprouting a load of shit to make Kaia feel better, because I know for a fact Hudson still has the video and that part of what Austin just said is one big fat lie. Damn, I can't believe I almost fell for that. Well, if I almost fell for it, then Kaia must have eaten it up.

"That's really sweet. Why didn't he just message her to let her know that he'd deleted it and that they could try again from there?" Kaia asked, looking between me and Austin.

"Because she blocked his number. And he didn't know where to find her and couldn't find her because we had the rest of our tour to do. A little bit hard to try find someone when you're half a world away from them, in completely different time zones without a phone number to contact." Austin was once again looking at me, like the hidden answer was right there.

I felt guilt in my chest because I never realised the other half of the story. He had to go to Barcelona after that day to start the European leg of the tour. And he told me that night about it, and if I'd ever been to Barcelona. Dammit. How did I make all this about me and persuade myself so highly that I wasn't worth caring about and that he'd cut me off so easily? And why was it Austin, of all people, that made me realise that I am in fact half to blame for all of this? Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought he was. Maybe I'm just a bitch.

"Wow. Ok maybe I judged a little too quick." Kaia said. "Well, see what he says tonight and see how it goes. Maybe a sensible, sober conversation is what you both need. But make sure you get your point across about boundaries and consent! And don't make yourself too available, then he knows he's off the hook and he has you where he wants you."

"Really? You're telling me not to make myself too available? Really?" I said, looking between her and Austin, who I'd just realised was only wearing a pair of boxers.

"Yeah well, you're not me, and Austin didn't fuck up the first time."

"Or the second. Or the third. Or the fourth. These walls are pretty thin, Kaia." I said whilst smirking.

She bumped my shoulder and then walked back to the kitchen island to pour herself some coffee. Austin had a look of glory plastered over his face, like I was championing him on.

"Ok fine, maybe you should let him screw your brains out. It might help you decide what to do and see if it's something worth pursuing. Who knows, he might just end up being a very useful fuck buddy." Kaia shrugged as she took a sip of her drink.

Austin looked at her, a frown on his face, looking like she'd just slapped him across the ego. Did Austin actually care about her? The Chanel bag wasn't just a ploy to show they were there for her birthday and to get to me. He genuinely bought her something she knew would like because it made her happy. Jesus Christ, am I really that self-centred that I had to think the worst of him? He liked Kaia. And she was the one taking him for a ride just for some good dick. Wow. That was a plot twist I should have seen coming. She never settled with anyone, she didn't trust anyone enough to give her full self to them, not unless they gave her good enough reason. And suddenly, I felt pity for Austin.

"Don't worry." I whispered to him. "She plays hard ball, but she's really a teddy bear. She likes you, you just have to lay it out flat with her and tell her how it is and what you want. Stick by your word and she's yours."

He smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

I nodded, retreating back to go to my bedroom.

"Hey, Lexi?" Austin shouted and I turned round. "Just hear him out, ok? I know you hate him, but, give it a chance."

I thought about it and then nodded. "I will. Thanks, Austin."

When I got to my room, I decided that no matter what or where we were, I would not have a drink. I could either be angry Lexi, or emotional Lexi, who lets stupid things happen upon just meeting a person, and that was not the goal of today. The goal is to have the same conversation we had last night, but sober, and a little more understanding. And a little bit of shouting for being such a crazy person and locking me in a damned elevator.