THE COP AND THE POP STAR

CHAPTER 25: MOVING OUT

I wish she would look at me.

Did she get a text from Rob, or did she see he mocked her?  Is it because of Rob?  Does she always get upset like this when she sings, maybe the love song makes her think of Rob, what she had with him, what she lost?

The last two weeks I feel like we've really connected. There is this intense, insane connection I feel with her. Like no words needed. I know it's crazy. I never believed it would happen to me. But it's true. I feel connected to her. Talking to her is so easy. Making her smile and laugh is like a drug to me. I want to be the reason why she smiles.

It's torture for me to see her hurting, to see her sad eyes. I want to make that frown turn into a smile. I want to make her eyes dance instead of cry. 

Rob never deserved her. Why can't she let him go? Why does she give him the power to hurt her? Why can't she forget him?  If it's Rob that's got her upset. I wish she would talk to me.

We drive the rest of the way in silence.  She looks nervous, she's fidgeting. She must really be thinking about something, because for the last few minutes, and especially at the stop lights, I've been staring at her. She hasn't noticed or looked at me once.

Is she scared right now?  At that last stop light, she ducked down in the seat, kind of slid down, she's looking out the window but she's not sitting up, so anyone next to us, is going to think I'm in the car with a little kid, the way she is slumped down.

I said, "Alyssa are you sure you're okay?"

She said, "yes I'm fine."

I hate that she doesn't trust me enough to tell me what's wrong. Because I know she's not fine.

We get home, and I go around to get her door.

She said, "Thank you Tom."

She always thanks me every time I open the door for her, which I do each time. Usually I get a smile, but not this time. 

She did make eye contact though, and her eyes are watery, she's crying, just not letting the tears fall.

I hate seeing her cry. It makes me hurt inside. If this is what it's like being in love, where you feel pain when the girl you love is hurting, then yeah, I'm in love. My chest aches, and what makes it worse is I can't get her to tell me what's wrong, so I can't fix it for her.

I'd like to at least hug her, and let her cry on my shoulder, try and comfort her, but I can't, if she refuses to tell me she's upset. If she wants to lie to me and tell me she's fine when she's not.

I open the door to my apartment for her and she goes in.  We are greeted by an excited Jake.

She bends down and hugs him.  

She said, "Jake, I missed you so much."  She gave him kisses on his head, he's so excited, wagging his tail, and licking her face.  

I just love watching her with Jake. Simple things like opening the door for her, letting her go in, watching Jake and her, it's like perfect. It's like this is what a home is. I finally have a home. Not just my place. It's a home now. With her, with Jake. Like we are family, but we aren't. I'm reminded of that, she's only here because of her stalker, when he's caught, and I hope that he's caught soon, so she can live her life like she deserves, but I'm going to lose her and Jake, and I am going to hurt so bad. I already know it. My first time getting my heart broken.

She said, "Jake why don't you have Tom take you out?"

I said, "Jake let's get your leash on buddy."  Jake goes crazy with the word leash. This dog is so smart, Alyssa told me she has to spell words, I believe it. He goes insane, with leash, outside, walk, and pizza. Lol at the fact this dog loves pizza.