Too far gone

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Oh
Oh damn

Am I really that far gone?

It's not that I
Don't want to be happy,
I have an eye
Of seeing the positivity.



I just know,
How things people react
How things will go
All before the first action has passed.


It's exhausting,
Really,
Knowing
Before they hurt your feelings.


I can see
Through others facades,
And yet will still be
Disappointed in that regard.



Not to be that bitch
But I believe I am too far gone.
That statement makes other itch
But for me, I just want to be one.


Constantly fighting myself
Drawn and quartered
For not even an ounce
Of any kind of reward, like flowers.


I try not to wallow
In all the pain that follows
To slowly being swallowed
By my stupid ass brain.

But it's also hard
To find a reason
* A reason to laugh
* A reason to get up
* A reason to work
* A reason to live
Because everyone argues
If I had already accrued
It all.


Oh
Oh damn

Am I really that far gone?

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