All The Lies We Told Ourselves

19 - Collaboration

Celestine
***********

May 20th, Saturday

My hands trembled like never before. I thought my feet would grow a mind of their own, turn around and walk away from the abandoned office building. Part of me wished they would, so I couldn't blame it on my own cowardliness. The last thing I wanted was to be seen as weak by them too.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked Rue, hoping she would change her mind. They were going to hate me. They already did. Was I risking my life? Maybe that was rude of me to assume, but they had all the reason to wish for my death, when I came to think of it.

Rue stopped and smiled. She looked at me like I was being silly and there was nothing to worry about. A couple steps towards me and she laid a consoling hand on my shoulder. It grounded me for a while.
"No. It's a pretty terrible idea, but it's all we've got." she said, staring me in the eyes and turning around to continue.
"Wait-" I pleaded, but she was already holding the door open for me. It opened to a room straight out of a horror film. Ace loved those so on his birthdays we would often go see one, even though I would see nightmares about it for the next couple of days. The floors were covered in debris and discarded furniture, their dusty fabrics full of holes. The bare concrete walls emitted cold air, even though it was almost June. There were no lights in the room and since it was already dark outside, I could not see much. My foot caught onto a loose brick and I stumbled.
"Watch out." Rue said and caught me by the hand. It flushed me red in the face and I was glad it was dark. I wondered whether I was dressed too fancy. I was wearing a long beige linen dress with blue embroidered flowers. Perhaps I should have dressed down, opted for pants and a plain shirt.
"You didn't think to clean up the place a little?" I said, the annoyance seeping through.
"Yeah and that'd be great for any guard who finds the place. Not suspicious at all."

Another door led us down a pitch black stairwell and then, at the bottom of it was the door. It opened to light and noise and life. There were people standing around in groups and sitting at tables, immersed in conversation. For a moment I only stood there, staring at the place.

The basement looked infinitely more inviting than the first room. Its walls arched up on top of stone pillars and small windows placed high on the walls brought in the little moonlight from the streets. The rest of the room was lit up by what seemed to be oil lanterns and candles.

There were tables with chairs all around, some of them armchairs, some wooden and even a rocking chair. A settee in the back built on top of shipping crates and a shelf full of books. To my left, at the front of the room stood black sturdy boxes, a noteboard on the wall and in front of it, a woman staring right at me.

***

"Fern." She said and I extended a hand. For a moment, she looked at it and hesitated, until finally returning the offer. Her hand was rough and calloused, large in comparison to mine. Her presence was quite intimidating, the way she towered over me with stern eyes.
"Celestine, nice to meet you." I said and smiled, perhaps too widely, trying to compensate for everything they thought of me. Fern didn't smile back. By now everyone was staring at me and the room was awfully quiet. The atmosphere was wary and careful, like anything could happen at any moment. A spark, or a noise too loud, just the wrong word, and it could lead to an explosion of something altogether too dangerous.
"You take after your brother." She said.
"You knew him?"
Well, he was alive, but I suppose it was more acceptable to talk about him as if he was gone. Fern nodded. I wanted to ask her everything then. When had she seen him? What had he said about all of it? Had he mentioned me?

I turned towards the crowd of people sitting around the tables. There must have been at least fifty of them. I couldn't come up with anything reasonable to say.
"Why does she think we need her entitled ass for help?" I heard someone mutter in the front.
"Snob." Another one coughed and it made a couple people laugh. I looked at Rue and she glared at a young man in the front row. His braids swayed as he laughed along.