Always Us

faded wounds

Curled up against his chest with a purple bonnet secured over her detangled curls, Gianna pouted. "Me next."

Olivia laughed and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Hi baby."

"Hi mommy."

Olivia's eyes strayed to the floor to where her sons laid on their stomachs, their feet swaying carelessly behind them as they hovered over an iPad. "Everything okay in here?"

Spencer's arm tightened around her neck, bringing her in closer. "Now, everything's perfect."

"Good," Olivia mumbled, letting her eyes flutter shut as her daughter's voice continued on, rambling about her day to her dad. There was her morning playdate, detailed with everything she and her friend did, ate, and watched. There was her argument with Caleb. Her shower with mommy. Her traumatizing hair brushing experience, and then, "What's that?"

Olivia opened her eyes to find a chubby finger poking incessantly at Spencer's chest.

It had been a while since it had come up, and to be quite honest, Olivia had forgotten about this conversation. Her other kids had inquired so young that she thought maybe the twins just never noticed or cared.

"Why is it like that daddy?"

Spencer squeezed Olivia's waist. "That's a scar that daddy got one time. I was protecting your mom."

Gianna's eyebrows scrunched together, processing the information. She traced her little finger up and down the tightened skin. And while she pondered her next question, Olivia laced her fingers with his.

"From what?"

"Some bad guys," Spencer answered simply.

Displeased, Gianna pursed her lips. "What's a scar?"

"Sometimes when you get hurt, your skin doesn't heal back exactly like it used to and it leaves a little mark. Like a reminder."

She jabbed at his chest again. "So how did you get hurt daddy?"

Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but finding a lull in his game, Jackson perked up quicker. "Daddy got shot! With a gun!"

Within a second, the peace in the room dissolved into dust.

"Who told you that?" Olivia asked, untangling herself from her husband. Spencer wrapped his arms tightly around his sobbing daughter and swung his feet onto the floor.

"I heard Grandma talking to Nana Grace one time." Jackson shrugged and went back to his game, unaware of his little brother stunned at his side.

"I don't want daddy to get shot," Gianna hiccuped.

"Oh, he's not going to get shot, baby," Olivia cooed, rubbing circles on her girl's back. "It was a really long time ago."

"I don't want—" Snot running down her lips, her daughter fell into a coughing fit. "I don't... I don't want anyone to hurt daddy."

Tears stung at Olivia's eyes as an unexpected wave of emotion washed over her. These days, she hardly ever thought back to that night, but when she did, the memories were still as vivid as ever. "I don't want anyone to hurt daddy either."

Catching the crack in her voice, Spencer shot a look at her. He watched her face even as he bent over to pick up Caleb, who had come over and crawled up his leg.

"Daddy's safe," Olivia continued, "and nobody is trying to hurt him or mommy, okay?"

Depleted, Gianna nodded.

Olivia looked helplessly at her husband. "This didn't go as smoothly as last time."

_____

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jackson yanked his comforter up to his chin and blinked at the ceiling. "Not really."

"You sure?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I asked SiSi after I heard about it, and she told me everything. Daddy really loves you, mommy."

Surprised, Olivia gaped at her little boy. "He does," she murmured, pressing a kissing to his forehead, "and he loves you all just as much. Daddy will always protect you, you know that, right?"

"I know," Jackson chirped, turning onto his side. "I'm tired though. I'm going to sleep now."

Olivia laughed under her breath. "Okay, I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you more," she whispered before slipping out of the room and back into the hall.

As she eased the door closed, a pair of arms came up behind her and wound themselves around her waist. "You okay?"

For the first time in an hour, Olivia relaxed into her husband's arms. "Yeah. I just wasn't expecting all this tonight."

"You looked a little nervous earlier," Spencer noted as he closed their bedroom door, and finally, it was just them.

"This feeling just came over me, and it hit me for the first time in forever that I could have lost you that night. If the ambulance didn't come fast enough. If the bullet had hit a few more inches to the right. Things could be so different."

"But they're not," he murmured, resting his forehead on hers and nudging his nose against hers until she tilted her head up for a kiss. "And even if they were, I wouldn't regret a single thing about that night, Liv."

"I don't want to imagine a life where this isn't our reality, you and me and our babies."

"Then don't," he chuckled, sliding his hands down and hitching her up onto his waist. He carried her towards the bed and laid her down on her side.

But when he tried to pull away, she kept her limbs locked around him. "Promise me we'll die on the same day!" He laughed at the sureness in her voice, and she slapped his chest playfully. "I said promise! And not too early either. I need a lot more time with our kids."

He stared at her with an incredulous look on her face. "You're crazy, woman."

"You're not going to promise?! Because if not, who's going to get left behind?! Not me. And I know your ass will be moping around, making everyone's life miserable alone."

"Not too much now."

She grabbed his face and kissed him hard. "Thank you for saving my life."

Tightening his arm back around her, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into a straddle. "I told you, Liv. Any time."

"I love you so much it hurts."

"I love you," he whispered, circling his thumb into her lower back. "And ain't nothing I wouldn't do to keep you safe."

She nodded into his shoulder and held him close, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart beating against her chest.

"You didn't promise," she eventually mumbled.

Spencer chuckled at her persistence and pressed a kiss to her neck. "I promise, Liv. I'll be with you every day until the end."