Madagascar (Reader Insert)

Melman's Confession

Alex: No. I mean, yes, you... Guys, come on.

Zebra: You thought I was him?

Alex: You guys kind of do look a little... You look a lot alike. Marty, you look a lot alike. You laugh alike. Talk alike. He has the same speech pattern. It's a little weird, really. I mean, come on. Marty.

Marty: So you're saying there's nothing unique about me. I'm just like any other zebra.

Alex: No. Of course you're different!

Both: How?

Alex: Okay, OK, I can't tell you apart. Maybe you could wear a bell or something. I don't know.

Marty: A bell?

Chriatian: (Groans) Here we go again.

Alex: OK, not a bell. Bell's a bad idea.

Marty: No, no, How about a T-shirt that says, "I'm with stupid"?!

Zebra: I'm not stupid!

Marty: Not you, stupid! Him, stupid!

Alex: You know what, while you've been off doing the prancing pony with your new posse, I've been having the worst day of my life. Okay?

Marty: It's always about you, isn't it?

Alex: My problems are just a little bit bigger than yours Marty. Alright, I couldn't tell you apart.

So what?! Yeah, fine. Run away, Marty! Run away! That's what you do best! Just like back in New York!

Marty: I'm right here. But you can't tell that, right? Your one-of-a-million friend hopes you enjoy your bigger-than-anyone-else's problems alone!

Alex: Good, leave! I don't need you to help me solve my problems! You know what? You're a dime a dozen! I can't tell which one's Marty! Which one's Marty? Wait a minute. Oh, yeah, I don't care!

Zebra: Nice hat, you showoff!

Alex: (Sigh) Marty.....don't go.

Marty: I'm right here. But you can't tell that, right? Your one-of-a-million friend hopes you enjoy your bigger-than-anyone-else's problems alone!

Alex: Good, leave! I don't need you to help me solve my problems! You know what? You're a dime a dozen! I can't tell which one's Marty! Which one's Marty? Wait a minute. Oh, yeah, I don't care!

Zebra: Nice hat, you showoff!

Alex: (Sigh) Marty.....don't go.

...

[Meanwhile with Melman in the hole]

King Julien: Giddy-up, giddy-up! Look, Maurice! Here's the perfect spot for my summer palace! So please fill in all these holes and relocate the riff-raff. Oh. Who'd leave a perfectly good head?

Maurice: What a waste.

Melman: Tell me about it. I'm in my prime here. I'm terminal, you know? I probably only have another two days left to live.

Maurice: Oh, that's a bummer, man.

King Julien: If I, King Julien... that's my name....only had two days left to live, I would do all the things I've ever dreamed of doing.

Melman: Like what?

King Julien: I'd love to become a professional whistler. I'm pretty amazing at it now, but I want to get even better, make my living out of it. [Blows raspberries] You know what else I would do? I would invade a neighboring country and impose my own ideology, even if they didn't want it!