The Secret to Flying - An MCYT Cyberpunk/Dystopian AU

11: Grian

'No- no I don't! Of course I care!'

And that's when I realise the only person with a gun is me, shooting a path for myself of innocent people to get to Mumbo, to save Mumbo, until suddenly Mumbo's there, on the ground, bleeding, and the Watcher leaders stand over him and-

'MUMBO!'

I wake up in a pitch black room, tangled in blankets. Sweat drenches me, the images branded in my mind forever. I can still see Mumbo lying, almost dead. I can still see the Watchers, smell the blood, taste the fear, hear the whispering.

'Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up...' I mutter back, hands covering my ears, but it doesn't work. 'I didn't want to do it! I didn't- I didn't want to..' I start sobbing, curled up there in the dark, covered in sweat and strangling blankets, wishing that I'd died in the massacre instead.

I don't get to sleep again, so I'm completely exhausted as I trudge into the Hawk base the next morning. Most of the Hawks (the Fledglings), are just chatting excitedly as always, but some are muttering, in mourning, hungry or hurting. I'm on time, but I wish I wasn't. Every single person I see suffering is another molten lump of guilt I have to live with.

'Grian.'

Scar.

I enter reception, just as Scar arrives behind me. And I know that he knows. I know that he'll hate me for everything. I try to hide amongst the crowds, but I can't hide from him I can't...

I hit the ground. The room goes silent. I try to move away, scrambling onto my front to see Scar stepping closer, the Hawks watching, shocked, excited.

'Scar, look I...' Scar reaches me, dragging me up and pinning me against the wall. Tears shine in his eyes, fury. I don't struggle.

'What the F*** HAVE YOU DONE?!' he yells. 'YOU- YOU...'

'SCAR I CAN EXPLAIN PLEASE!' I can't. There's no way I can explain. 'PLEASE!' He lets go. But before I can run, he's punched me. The wide-eyed Hawks surround us as I gain my balance, facing Scar. 'Scar, please...' He doesn't move, catching his breath before going for me again. I dodge out the way. 

'You killed Mom, Grian,' Scar spits. 'You killed Cleo.'

'Scar...'

'You KILLED HER!' Scar shoves me again.

'SCAR! STOP THIS! There are CAMERAS in here?!'

'And?'

'Elex can see everything! He'll ARREST OR KILL YOU!'

'THEY KILLED MOM! RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I WATCHED HER DIE! IMPULSE DIED! BDUBS'S BEST FRIEND! Oh- oh Notch...' Scar pauses, backing away. I see him swallow back either a sob or a scream. 'Oh Notch...'

 'Scar, I know you hate me. I hate me too. I never expected... I never thought they'd do something like this.'

'They- they killed so many people, Grian. They burnt down everything. We haven't heard from Etho or Beef since the attack...'

'I know, just... just...'

'They HELPED PEOPLE, Grian! They had people who helped you for FREE! And now those people are either DEAD or being TORTURED for information!'

'I know! Just... just shut up about it here, ok?'

'Don't you UNDERSTAND, GRIAN? Don't you UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'VE DONE?'

'Scar, I understand!'

 'I don't care how illegal it was, the Blindfold-'

'SHUT UP!' I punch Scar back, years of Hawk training causing the taller, stronger, Fledgling to fall back, nose bleeding. 'I told the Watcher Leaders you just stumbled across it... if it wasn't for me, you'd be GONE. I know where you live. I know what you care about. Why? Because you're so F***ING NAIVE YOU TOLD ME EVERYTHING! YOU caused this, Scar! NOT. ME!'

He punches me again, even harder. I crash to the ground.

'I thought Hawks were meant to be good people, Grian.'

'You were wrong.'

'I thought you were supposed to HELP people!'

'You were wrong!'

'Officer Cub would NEVER do something like this! Officer Cub CARES for people! I wish HE was my mentor!'

'Well TOUGH! He can't be your mentor!' I should stop talking. I should stop talking right now. 'Do you know why?'

'Why?'

'Because he's DEAD!'

:)