ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕥 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤 ⭒ ℍ𝕦𝕒𝕟𝕘 ℝ𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕦𝕟

[ 28 ]

Songmin felt the weight of the blanket settle over her and something inside of her cracked. She'd been avoiding everyone like the plague, leaving her phone on silent and out of reach, leaving the apartment when she was sure Eunhye was gone, traversing in only the emptiest hallways of the university the few times she'd attended classes, centering her days on academics and completely cutting off social contact to deal with the heavy thoughts that had bogged her down every second ever since she'd returned from the hospital. She'd been trying especially hard to stay away from Renjun, refusing to enter the arts building on the way to her humanities class and nearly blocking his number, refusing to answer any of his texts or calls. But he was still being so nice. Why was he treating her kindly? He should've hated her, should've taken his anger out on her. He should've been yelling at her, kicking her, hitting her, beating her for running away from him, for ignoring him and his confession, for ignoring her friends.

But he was being kind, and it was even worse a punishment than any cold-hearted act would've been.

The tears she'd been suppressing for weeks finally broke through. They came one after another non-stop, a release of all of the heaviness she'd carried around with her like a thorn embedded in her conscience. Her fists tightened and silent sobs wracked her body as if trying to cry for help without words.

She couldn't understand why the world was so kind, and it was tearing her apart. She'd been nothing but a terrible person to her family, to her friends, yet people were kind to her. Cutting herself off from the world for the past few weeks had given her time to think, to understand that she was a leech and a burden to those around her, yet they treated her with patience and respect that she didn't deserve, and they were worried.

She should've been spat at, cursed at, beaten, even ignored for what she had done, but the world was kind and it was even worse a punishment than all of the hatred she should have received but did not.

Renjun knew he should've been panicked, but he felt an odd calm as he let his instincts take over, moving over to the wall to sit beside the crying girl. Moving deliberately so he wouldn't scare her, he set his fingers on her shoulder, giving her a chance to move away or push him away if she wished.

Songmin could sense Renjun's touch through her thin shirt. She wanted to tell him to leave, to get out while he still could. He shouldn't have to deal with her problems, not when she'd pushed him away. She didn't want another person to have to take on her burden. But she just couldn't get her limbs to move. She was paralyzed in tears, unable to control herself now that the thin string of mental strength that had kept her in check for the past month had snapped.

Not sensing Songmin moving away, Renjun gently moved his hand further across the back of her shoulders, reaching around her and pulling the blanket so that it wrapped completely around her, sealing her off from the open air. His fingers never leaving her, he slid his arm under the blanket and held her waist in a side hug, inching a bit nearer to offer her a little more warmth in the cold room.

Up closer, Renjun could see how much Songmin had changed since the last time he'd seen her. Although a deep-seated tiredness had always been present, lingering around her like a mist that was almost calming, she looked even more exhausted than usual. The crescents under her eyes were like dark moons, and her sobs held a weakness that should not have been there. Her shoulders sagged and she was slumped completely against him and the wall, as if she couldn't support her own body weight.

The noiseless nature of her crying stirred the most concern in Renjun's mind; although her body quivered with the force of her sobs, it didn't sound as if she were crying at all. The only noise cue indicating a difference from her normal state was the faint sound of her shallow inhales and her short, bursting exhales. The quietness sent a chill down Renjun's spine, and he tightened his grip around her ever so slightly. He'd seen many people cry, but never had he seen anything like this. He could only imagine what she might have gone through in her past to be trained into suffering in complete silence.