In the Shadows - Sebastian Sallow x reader (English)

Chapter 42

TW: Mention of sexual abuse

My heart was pounding, and everything around me was spinning. My field of vision became increasingly darker. The Gryffindors had discovered that Leander was the student who was expelled. Well, they suspected so. And then it was only a matter of time before they found out I was responsible for it. "Y/N, are you okay? "You look like you've seen a ghost," Natty asked me worriedly, putting a hand on my shoulder. I turned on my heel and ran up the stairs back to the dormitory. When I reached the top, I noticed that my friends were following me. "Hey, what's going on?" Nellie asked, completely out of breath. My knees went weak, and I made it to my bed just in time to sit down. Suddenly, all the dams broke, and I started crying. I rested my elbows on my knees and hid my face in my hands. The mattress was pushed down beside me, and a hand rested on my back. "What happened?" Natty asked worriedly. So it was her hand that touched me. I knew I had to tell my friends at some point. And some time was now. I dropped my heavy arms and hung my head. My heart was racing, and I felt like I was drowning. I took a shaky breath. I didn't even bother wiping my tears away; new ones would come anyway. "I have to tell you something," I said, barely audible. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cressida and Nellie sitting on Cressida's bed across from me. My friends were so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. I nervously rubbed my hands up and down my tights. I took another deep breath. "It was indeed Leander who was expelled," I blurted out. "What? How do you know that?" Nellie asked excitedly. My heart was pounding so hard that I feared it would burst out of my chest at any moment. At least then, I would have been done with everything. Tensely, I gripped the hem of my skirt with both hands so tightly that my knuckles turned white. "I..." My words caught in my throat, and I swallowed against the lump. After clearing my throat briefly, I made my second attempt: "I reported Leander." Natty, next to me, became completely silent. I heard Cressida gasp in shock. "What happened?" Nellie asked in a calm tone. There was no turning back now. I took another deep breath. "He touched me and kissed me. And not just once." "Shit," Nellie cursed quietly. "Y/N, I'm so sorry he did that to you," Natty's voice was shaking.

"What? When?" Nellie asked restlessly. I swallowed. "The first time was on Halloween. Sebastian wanted to get us something to drink, so Leander took the opportunity to dance with me. I didn't think anything of it. Of course not. He asked me out after all." I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "Well, when you all were distracted, he kissed and held me. I tried to defend myself, but he wouldn't let me go." Another stream of tears ran down my cheeks, and Natty gently stroked my back. "And the second time was at Christmas. Sebastian and I had an argument, and Leander took advantage of it. He ambushed me in the corridor and..." I couldn't say one more word. My voice failed.

Suddenly, a sob was heard from Cressida's direction. I looked up and saw my friend sitting on her bed, crying. "You weren't the only one," she whispered. My mouth dropped open, and I wiped my eyes. "What?" Cressida nodded and avoided our eyes. "Do you remember the party after our first Quidditch game this school year?" she asked the group. Nellie and Natty murmured in agreement, but I remained quiet. I skipped the party and spent the evening at Sebastian's side in the hospital wing instead. I had a bad night's sleep in the Room of Requirement that night. "And do you remember that Garreth brought fire whiskey from somewhere and mixed it into the punch?" Another hum from Nellie and Natty. "Well, anyway, I wanted to impress Garreth with how much I could drink. Although it turns out it's not much, and I get pretty drunk pretty quickly." "I remember you mumbled something about getting some fresh air, and then you disappeared," Nellie remembered. "To be honest, I didn't think anything of it. You could still walk straight ahead." Cressida picked at her fingernails. "Actually, I was hammered. And I didn't want to get some fresh air. I wanted to puke to sober up a little. But Leander stopped me on the way to the bathroom." My stomach was cramped, and I suspected what Cressida was about to say. "He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. Then he grabbed my breasts and kissed me." Cressida's voice broke, and she began to cry again. My throat tightened. "And you know what's the worst part about it? I couldn't defend myself. I was too drunk to do anything to get him to leave me alone. He only let go of me when someone vomited in the hallway next to us." Silent tears streamed down my cheeks as I listened to Cressida. The fact that my friend had to go through something similar to me broke my heart. "Cressida, I'm so sorry," Nellie croaked. "I shouldn't have let you go alone." Cressida shook her head, her curls bouncing back and forth. "You couldn't have guessed it. Nobody could do that. And at the end of the day, it's my own fault. I shouldn't have fucked myself up like that." "Don't say something like that," I said. "I also blamed myself at first and still do it often, but that's wrong. If you want to blame someone, blame Leander. It's not your fault that he's such an asshole. But he does. I only now understood that." Cressida just nodded. "Why didn't you report him?" Natty asked her. "I was simply ashamed." Cressida pushed her hands into the sleeves of each other's arms. "I would also have had to admit that I was drinking and breaking the rules. I'm not really keen on trouble." "I didn't feel any different," I admitted. "I should have reported Leander after Halloween. But I was so ashamed. I just couldn't do it." "That you two carried this around for so long." Natty blew her nose. "You could have talked to us." I shrugged my shoulders. "I was too ashamed even for that. I know this is stupid, but I just felt gross."