Make me.

17

Aurelia's POV

After hearing everything Aaron said, I called Nate over to my dorm. I don't know why I decided to do it but I broke up with him, giving him some shitty excuse about my studies.

"I need to focus on my studies, Nate. I can't do it if I'm in a relationship that takes up so much of my time."

"Well, if you need space I'll give it to you. Sweetheart, there's very little in the world I wouldn't do for you. Please just tell me what to do and I'll do it for you."

"I- I like someone else." I said.

His lips pressed together and he nodded and started walking away.

"If you ever need to talk, I'll listen. I hope you know that. I hope you're both happy, Aurelia." He said right before closing the door.

I collapsed onto my couch and cried. I didn't know what to think about Hawthorne. Or what to think about Nate. The way Hawthorne said everything seemed so real. Nate was amazing but all we did was make out or fuck, we never really talked about anything. There were a lot of times I thought that maybe I liked Hawthorne but I never wanted to act on them because I always thought he hated me. The way he's always spoken to me has been so hateful. Especially that day our last day in New York.

I heard a knock on my door about twenty minutes after Nate left. Could it be him? A small part of me wanted it to be him so I could end it in a better way.
I opened it to see Hawthorne standing there. He wanted to talk. Of course, he did. He came in and hugged me. That's weird. We've never hugged before. Not even that time when we won the best presentation award in our year. I pushed him away.

"What do you want, Hawthorne?"
"Hear me out for once. Please." He said, his voice breaking.
"Go ahead."

"Nate came over to my dorm, he told me that you broke up with him.... Gray, that's not what I wanted at all...
I need you to understand that I just couldn't keep it in anymore. If you don't feel the same way then that's fine but I have loved you for a year. Ever since that time, you spilled that extremely hot bowl of soup on me and laughed as though it was the funniest thing ever... I- I never hated you, Aurelia.
You make me a better version of myself. You push me to be better at everything just so I can win. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you about all of this before but I am a coward. I always have been when it comes to you. I never meant to fall for you. I just wanted to get to know you better but when I saw you laugh like that, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I set that stupid bet because I was too much of a coward to actually admit my feelings for you. I thought that maybe if I slept with you, the feelings would go away..... Maybe it wasn't really love, it was just lust and desire. But, Gray, everything reminds me of you.... Everywhere I go, I wish you were with me.
I'm sorry that I ruined your relationship with him and I'm sorry if you don't think I'm better than him. I just know that I would love you better than he ever could... Better than anyone else ever could."

"Why would you tell me all this now?"

"I tried keeping it a secret, Gray. I hated seeing you with Nate. I hated the way he looked at you, the way you looked at him, like you loved him. I just couldn't keep it in anymore. You already know the worst about me and I about you. If we can get over our past, we could have such a good future. I know that I have made it extremely difficult for you to love me but, God, Gray, I could love you so much better than anyone else could. If you could just give me a chance. You mean so much to me. So fucking much and I keep falling for you more and more everyday. You're incredible. I don't say it enough but know that I mean it."

"If you felt that way about me then why did you go fuck so many people?"

He laughed, "That isn't true. I haven't slept with anyone in six months. I just spent all my free time stalking you, trying to know more about you, or getting drunk at some party. I tried forgetting about you by going to some new girl but every time I just imagined it was you with me."