Love me in the Shadows of Our Memories (🇬🇧)

Chapter 16 - In the Shadow of Colours

A sad smile appeared on her face.

"Magnus has been gone for almost a year," she said.

Alec let out a desperate sound and sat down next to her on the sofa. Tears burned in his eyes. Should he really give up? Could he? He knew the chances of Magnus surviving alone out there were very slim. Alec hoped Magnus had managed to find refuge somewhere. He'd hoped so much that the omega had, even if it meant Magnus had chosen a path away from him.

Alec pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes, and a sob escaped him. He missed Magnus. So much that it tore him apart. Magnus had said he would come back, but he hadn't. The thought that Magnus didn't want to be his omega and left him because of it hurt deeply.

Alec clenched one hand into a fist and pushed the thoughts of that conversation with his mother aside, returning to the present in his mind. It had taken him ages to overcome the loss of Magnus. But now, all those painful memories and feelings he had tried to suppress, especially since Magnus' return, resurfaced, brought back by Maia's words. That made him angry, and he wasn't even sure if he should direct that anger at her or himself and where this anger came from.

"And what do you suggest I should do?" Alec asked, grabbing the pen from Maia. "Should I just give up my entire life for Magnus? Risk the happiness I have with John and just leave him? Should I go back to what Magnus and I had twelve years ago, without even knowing if it will work again?"

"I can't tell you what to do."

With an annoyed snort, he placed the pen back in its holder.

"Maia, then what's the point of this whole conversation?"

Maia looked down at her now empty hands, visibly contemplating whether she had gone too far with her questions.

"I care, I worry about you," she said softly.

Her words slightly calmed his angry emotions. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"You don't need to, Maia," he said in a calmer tone. "Everything is fine."

Maia's gaze shot up, and Alec could clearly see the doubt in her eyes.

"Alec, you're my best friend. Of course, I worry, and I'm afraid that you're deceiving yourself and suppressing the truth."

Alec gave her a sincere smile. Over the years, a close friendship had developed between them, and Maia was the only one, aside from his siblings, to whom he confided personal matters or his feelings.

"I won't," he promised.

Maia tilted her head.

"It wouldn't be the first time. You know that."

Alec rested his arms on the desk in front of him and ran his hands over his face. A heavy sigh escaped him.

"Maia, I'm married to John."

"But are you truly happy with him?"

He turned his head, a frown now on Maia's forehead.

"Why do you doubt that?"

"I'm not sure." The alpha shrugged helplessly and audibly sighed. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't doubt."

"I am happy with him," Alec said.

He ignored the strange feeling that swelled in his chest at his words, making it harder for him to breathe.

Maia reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I just want to prevent you from hurting yourself just because you're acting out of some kind of duty."

"I'm not," he insisted, still ignoring the strange feeling in his chest.