Accountability

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🚨hey pooks🚨

"Resh" Kami ♍️

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"Resh" Kami ♍️

"Sea" Gazella ♓️

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"Sea" Gazella ♓️

Resh

As soon as I realize I'm sleeping I snap awake. My entire body jumps as my eyes open.

"Mm," I wipe my mouth while looking around.

Yo?

"Grand risings... like you be saying; I... um," she looks down at what's in her hands.

She's on her knees in the bed, awkwardly fumbling over her words.

"I got you some water and some honey buns," she says.

I can tell when she looks at me again that it takes a lot out of her to keep eye contact.

"I'll treat you to breakfast later if you don't want this-"

I smile and snatch one of the honey buns from her jokingly.

Girl, of course I want this.

"Nah, this shit hittuh mamas," my words stun her.

She laughs out in shock. I laugh, then we both laugh together. She watches me... or more so admires me while I inhale this honey bun.

I watch her smile leave.

"Are you okay?" She cups my face.

I lick my lips and stuff the rest of the honey bun in my mouth. She grips my chin, pulling on my beard a lil bit. It takes a sec for me to nod but I do.

"Say it Resh. Say you're okay," she says softly while rubbing on me.

I look around and put the plastic wrapper on the night stand beside the bed.

"Are you okay for real?" She put her fingers in my hair.

Her presence comforts me more and more. My heart starts beating a lil faster though. I don't answer her question, but tell her new thoughts that randomly pop in my brain.

"You know? I wondered if you'd fuck with my hair still. I imagined your fingers going through it like they are now," I say... in love.

I look at her lips, then back into her eyes.

"You did? Thats so sweet," she tries her best to go along with the subject change.

You're walking on eggshells. I can tell just from your body language and the way you look at me. I can tell by the way you're speaking.

I nod.

"Well, I love your hair Resh... and I hope you're okay. I hope you're more that okay. I hope we're okay," she traces my skin more.

I run my hand up her soft skin.

"You okay, Sea?" I ask while lightly feeling the large bruise she got from falling.

"La policía made it a big deal-"

"It is a big deal; you got hurt because of me," I say.

"Please stop," she says.

"Stop what?" I ask, confused.

"I got hurt because of us and even then I still take the blame... so let's talk about it," she says seriously.

"Grandmaster said what he said and... you're here now. I surrender. I'm glad you here. I don't want to leave you again. I'm grateful you're with me... now that I understand more," I open up while nestling my cheek against her palm.

She stays silent and closes her eyes.

"I gave Marshal his blade," her words make me take in air fast as fuck.

"Woaah," I sit up some with wide eyes.

Ayo, what?

She keeps her eyes away from mine, full of shame.

"I- I know, bruh. I feel terrible about Koi. He called me and left me voice messages. He didn't want me to go. He went the fuck off about the sword. He ordered me to come back. I just couldn't face him. I didn't want to cut deeper into him by telling him that I couldn't choose him this time... even though he's always been there for me..." her voice becomes more and more full of emotion.

I grab her hands, understanding her and empathizing.

"I just couldn't face it. Saying no to him directly would have hurt me, it does for real. Saying yes would have hurt me too... because of you; because of us. He was furious, but I didn't know he would flip shit like that. I didn't know about the extra baggage. You said he drew blood. He told everyone about Marshal being his partner. I'm worried about Marshal. I'm worried about Koi. That's so deep...," her tone gets a little higher as she explains herself.

She's panicking.

"I do believe that some things are meant to happen and that me, and Koi, and everyone else are learning some divine lessons in everything, but I don't want to be a villain. I don't want to be that for anyone undeserving or unworthy of those struggles Reshy. You were right. I am his best friend... or at least I was supposed to be," her last sentence makes her ball.

Thoughts of my spiritual roots keep me grounded, sure, and clear.

The look on her face makes me scoop her into me and hold her close. I console her with genuine truths.

"You are his best friend. I've gotten off the wrong foot with him too, Sea. I still feel bad about it. I was upset, but now that I understand everything I believe that he'll understand too once it's laid all out for him. Just continue to be honest. Just continue to be real. Koi has a good soul, a great soul. His judgement is crisp and so is Grandmaster Awkanatwe's. I'll be able to go back to Lotus soon, then you two can have the heart to heart yall need," I let her know.

Face to face.

I rub my hand down her curly hair.

"Okay?" I hold her and sway her like the big baby she is.

I let her go and make her look at me.

"Okay?" I ask again.

She nods. I clean up her tears while giving her a smile.

"Thank you for my honey buns mamas," I joke to make her smile; I succeed.

She laughs through her tears and throw her arms around me again. I fall into the pillows behind me while I chuckle.

"I missed you," she says against my shirt.

"I missed you too. You my girl."

I know yall tired of me saying this....

but I for real pulled this out my coochie oochie oola walla woochie snatch. Like come on.

Thoughts? 😭 I hope yall are doing welllll.

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