SAY MY NAME - [J. DESCAMPS]

ELEVEN

"You know your dad love to play it rough, but he's a sweetheart in reality. I'm the uncool parent."

Saying that my parents were strict would be a lie. They always let me do whatever I wanted —within reasonable limits of course— and I knew I was very lucky, especially with my dad. While my mom could be sometimes a little more annoying, about manners and all the things a girl should always be, he never really cared.

He was so protective, but in a good way. He would always come to my rescue whenever someone would made a comment about my looks or my attitude. He would always remind people that marriage wasn't the only thing that mattered and that studying could actually be an option, even to my own mother, which was a bit ironic, since she chose her career first when she was young.

But I could never complain about them, not when I noticed how Michelle was treated by her family or how Jean's father could be extremely strict with him... my parents only wanted my happiness.

I shook my head. "You're not. You're just... overprotective."

"Hm," she hummed, looking right into my eyes. "and that's why the circus I've got you into at Georges Sand will be something I'll never forgive myself."

"It wasn't that bad you know... Georges Sand. I liked it, before..."

"Yeah, but I almost lost my little girl out there," she said, grabbing my hand in hers and squeezing it tightly. I swallowed hard, feeling myself burning with shame. "This school is like a second chance, Rose. I don't want you to ruin it."

Jean's word came back to my mind.

I just think it's easy to fall back into old patterns.

I yanked myself free from her grip. "It's just a detention, mom..."

"I know. But it starts like that. You're sure this boy didn't encouraged you to do this with him ? It was his idea, wasn't it ?"

It would be easier to tell her what she wanted to hear. That Descamps was the one who corrupted her sweet girl, that I did nothing wrong, but it would be a lie and I didn't wanted to lie, neither to her or myself.

Besides, I didn't wanted to smear Descamps' name. I would've done it a few weeks ago without hesitation but right now...

I just think I should take responsibility for what I've done, that's all.

"Mom, I swear, it was mine. I've just acted stupidly."

She looked away with a sigh. "Fine... Have you bought a gift for grandma ?" she suddenly switched topics and that did not surprised me. I even felt relieved.

"Nope," I shrugged. "We're not gonna see her until New Year's Eve, are we ? We're having dinner at Jean's for Christmas, like every year, no...?"

But the look on her face told me otherwise before she even replied, and I sighed loudly. "Sorry, honey. But my mother is really pissing me off these last few days. She's calling me everyday to see her granddaughter... Christmas' dinner will be at my parent's house."

"But mom... grandma is..."

A real pain in the ass.

"I know honey, but we have no choice."

"...Fuck."

"Language."

***

At the doorstep of Simone's house, I make sure that everything is alright. That the fabric of my dress is perfectly straight, that my hair are in place and even if the plate of cookies I'm holding look presentable enough. The truth is, I couldn't care less about these three factors, I was simply afraid to press the doorbell.