Mercy & Fire

23. A Step of Faith

Adelia

"We make it to the port at midday!" Jonas yelled as he stared down at his compass. Then he glanced up with a nod of affirmation to everyone. His facial hair and pin straight hair was a sorry sight, but I was sure I looked the same.

Everyone was too tired to cheer, but it was enough to put a bit of energy into their steps, including the old woman who was clinging to her cane like her life depended on it. Everyone had formed some sort of bond to one another, and they each turned to the other with encouraging smiles. All except me, anyway.

I'd hardly spoken during the trip at all, and Jonas never pushed me to. I was like a sentient rock just scooting along the dirt floor, wondering what my purpose in life was.. Roselena always said I had a penchant for drama, but this time, it didn't feel dramatic at all. My spirit had been crushed under the weight of Bellfire's lonely burial, and the only thing keeping me going was the will to live.

When I arrived in Bermillia by the skin of my teeth at 9 years old, I didn't know that life could be any better than the one I had with my mother in Dhernon. To me, her stories of Camela and the great beyond were merely comforting fantasies.

In Bermillia, those fantasies and stories came to life for me, and it gave me hope. Now, the same insecurity and fear I felt living in Dhernon, and on my journey to Bermillia, was sneaking back in. The same little 9 year old girl who would do anything to survive had made her appearances every now and then, but it seemed like she was here to stay for a while.

She was the scared girl who latched onto Roselena and her family, who let herself be fooled by a rich man, and who lied to Roselena about Bellfire's affair. The lie was enough, but to then shamelessly grow feelings for him and cause his death shortly afterward...

Now all I could think about was the fact that he will never get to do the things he wanted to do, and the child in me was glad that it was him and not me. The self preservation that I was once so proud of became a source of shame and self hatred for me, and I hated it, because I always felt it was my only connection with my mother.

I'd replayed how we could've escaped without using magic. Without magic tracing itself on me and attracting those beasts... Part of me hoped the monsters hadn't crossed over into Bermillia, but it seemed magic had already made its way into Bermillia long before I or anyone else knew. It was a wonder the printing shop didn't have any visitors with the charmed press...

Shaking my head back into the present, I sagged against a tree and watched all the travelers bid their goodbyes to Jonas, their guide. He watched the crowd funnel into the port city before glancing back at me. He held his horses' grungy leash and beckoned me closer.

"Come, we need to figure out how to get you to safety." He told me a little wearily.

This made my anxiety go up in flames as I looked at him oddly.

"You make it sound like you won't go into safety with me." I said bluntly.

"You can't go where I'm going. It'll be too dangerous for you, Adelia. I've been thinking of sending you to a peaceful city in Fioretia."

I had the urge to ask him whether he would send Roselena away too, but I bit my tongue. Instead, I looked away.

"Why can't I stay with you? You have nowhere to go, Jonas. Not to mention, I haven't seen your father anywhere." I pointed out.

He grimaced and looked up at the sky nervously for a second, "I'm waiting for an army a little ways from here."

My brows scrunched in confusion as he rubbed his neck.