i accidentally nutted in a swimming pool after looking at myself in the mirror and now i have to pay child support for 104 different women.
very sad.
y/n pov:
y/n was sleeping peacefully in bed.
the sunlight shone on him... but not on his face so he could stay in his calm slumber...
it was nice to be able to just relax in complete silence for once...
nice soft blankets covered him in their comforting warmth...
just some sanctuary in the garden of the mind...
PEARL: WAKE YO BITCH ASS UP!!!!!!!!!!!
pearl yelled into his ear with a megaphone which makes him immediately get up.
y/n: IM UP!
pearl: jeez, i was trying to get you to wake up for a solid minute!
y/n: why?! its six in the morning...
he said while exhaustingly pointing at his alarm clock.
pearl: because i've got A LOT of sutff i've got planned for today!!! so get yo ass up! i've already made breakfast for you and marina!
y/n: ughhhh... fine...
pearl: good!
she left the room as he slowly got up and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower to hopefully wake himself up a bit.
~~~
after taking a long ass shower he was still tired, and he made his way downstairs to the kitchen where an equally as tired marina was eating some cereal so he sat down next to her and did the same.
marina: oh goodmorning y/n.
y/n: heyyyyyyy marina.
marina: did she also wake you up in the most obnoxious way possible?
pearl: maybe if you two weren't texting each other all night you wouldn't be tired right now.
marina: wait how do you know that?
pearl: i turned your phone on and saw all the messages y'all sent each other.
knowing that she was looking through their messages maid marina blush a ton while y/n was just sleeping with his head on the table.
pearl: imagine talking about boring human technology all night.
marina: imagine being short.
pearl: imagine being such a nerd.
marina: imagine... uhh... y/n back me up here!
y/n: huh what?
marina: nevermind.
they all ate their food and once they were done they put their shoes on and walked outside to the limo and drove to inkopolis.
~~~
agent 4 pov:
marie: it seems y/n is late again.
agent 4: fan-FUCKING-tastic! time to work alone again!
she super jumps over to sector 3 while marie stays behind for a bit and takes a look at her phone and immediately went to see that y/n was somehow the 1# most followed user on inkstagram.
(DO YOU GET IT?! its like instagram but replaced with the letter INK because their squids and squids produce INK out of their ass!!! holy shit im so funny and creative. i DESERVE the writer of year award!)
YOU ARE READING
splatoon x reader (yeah i know its such an original title)
Romancewar... its what led humanity to its downfall, with only a couple humans surviving the mass extinction. one of those humans being none other than y/n, and after many MANY years of being cyrogenically frozen he finally awoke and is in for some wAcKy h...
