It's the things we love most, that destroy us

Nightmare

Every night, I have the same repetitive dream ; it's been that way since I was young. However this time it was different - like usual I'm dashing through an unknown forest, my movements are frantically fast as I desperately thrash against the thick bushes and run past the prickly plants, which painfully scrape their thorns against my bare skin. My hands are violently shaking and I'm on the verge of tears as I try to find a hiding spot ; all of a sudden I crash to the floor due to tripping over a fallen branch, releasing the silky vibrant orange scarf, that was wrapped around my body to protect me from the blistering cold. A shiver is sent over my spine, when I hear a man call out from behind me "Lucy Gray", "Are you hiding from me ?" his voice hauntingly echoes through the woods as clear as day. He's looking for me. The dream usually stops there, leaving me extremely confused, frenzied and puzzled - this time it didn't. In an instant, I jump on my unstable feet, let out a pleaded whimper as I hysterically observe my surroundings - need to hide ; Need To Hide ; NEED TO HIDE. My eyes lock on a bunch of trees, which were clambered tight together and covered in a thick layer of overgrown ivy - I throw myself behind them, leaving the scarf in the fifthly dirt along with the soggy autumn leaves and snapped twigs. I clutch my shaking knees to my chest as I crouch behind the group of lanky trees and try to hold in my fearful sobs as I hear him warily walk towards the abandoned scarf - probably ruined beyond repair ; "Lucy Gr-" he calls again then something metal shatters against the woodland floor causing the mockingjays above to fly away in fear. I wish I could fly away ; but I'm stuck like a bird in a locked cage. This man is my captor.

My eyes widen and my body jolts as his mortifying screams travel through the blistering wind, cautiously I turn around and peer through a small crack in the trees to see him fallen on the floor, grunting in agony, holding his swollen forearm, frantically looking around the space to locate me. He reminds me of Coryo - his similar defined face shape and features, the exact same hair colour and nose. But instead of Coryo's curly locks, this young man had a shaved head and instead of Coryo's captivating eyes, the man's eyes were full of hurt, hate and had an new found darkness about them. Next to him lays a rusty, grey gun, which has engraved on the side the outdated seal of the Capitol. All I knew was that he was a threat and at any chance I got to escape, I needed to take with open arms. I gulp as his crazed, maniacal laughs pierce my ears, "Is that poisonous ?" His breaths are heavy and heaved ; poisonous ? my muddy face scrunches in confusion. "Are you trying to kill me ? Lucy Gray." He bitterly looks at his forearm again "LUCY GRAY, I SAID ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ! AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU" his hand slams and plummets to the ground in anger. My whole body freezes and I force myself to stay put when finally he breaks into tearful sobs ; my heart begins to ache like I've lost something as I watch his hurt, blue eyes exhaustedly wander the grounds of the forest. I turn back around, my lips, charred and bleeding, begin to quiver and stinging tears roll down my cheeks. I'm looking up at the sky, the suns rays blur through the greenery of the trees - my hands are sticky from clutching my cut, bloodied knees and smeared in grimey soil as I wipe at my sore cheeks.

Even though his furious voice still bellows in my ears, i can hear the man's soft cries against the noises of the invisible animals creeping around the forest ; each cry feels like a gut-wrenching stab into my body ; then there was silence. I lay my head against the tree trunk relishing in this quiet moment before the storm brews once again - my tired, weak body takes in a breath of fresh air as I take one more look at the youthful man. He's now hunched over, collapsed on the floor with the scarf pulled up to his nose, sniffing it maybe ? - the man looks out of it like Haymitch when's he's extremely drunk or someone who's high on drugs. This is my chance to get away while he's not focused or perhaps even sane. I forcefully drag my gaze away from the insane man and as silent as a mouse I pull myself up from my hidden spot and begin to tremble deeper into the woods.

Unexpectedly, a loud crack echoes through the space ; my eyes immediately race to the direction of the man and there he is. Blatantly staring back at me in his same spot from where I last saw him hunched over, however this time he holds the gun in his wobbly, unstable grasp. He can't see me though, his dilated eyes are still wandering but only kept in one area. Mine. If I stay here any longer, I'm dead meat. I take in another deep breath and I begin to take flight like a freed bird through the trees - as expected immediately the gun fires, I let out a pained scream as the bullet pierces through my shivering skin - I once again violently plummet to the ground. He shot me. But this time I'm badly wounded, my dirty clothes begin to stain a crimson red as my body begs for air - my eyes become to come in and out of consciousness, I feel lightheaded, my hearts beats get slower and slower, my once clear eyesight becomes blurred with obsidian circles. The navy mockingjays blankly stare back at me from the shadows of the trees as I look up ; clutching my bleeding body. "Help.... me" I manage to plead to the sky, before it fades to black.

I jump up from the hot bed, panting and sweat dripping from my clothes, as Effie annoyingly pounds on my door - "Lilly wake up, it's another big, big, big day !". I roll my eyes and internally groan when the plan for the day resurfaces to my mind. I answer with a raspy voice, "I'll be out soon" even though the knocks on my door stop, I can still hear Effie's outrageous heels click on the floor as she walks away. I sigh and place both hands on my head ; all I can think about is that stupid dream, why now was it different ? What does it mean ? Then it comes back to me, the man never referred to me as Lilly, he referred to me as Lucy Gray. When I think of Lucy Gray, the only think that comes to mind is the ballad of Lucy Gray ; a girl who goes missing in a snow storm. But what relevance has that got to my dream ?